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adopting without letting ex know

Me and my husband just got married and he wants to adopt my son but I don't want my ex getting involed how do we go about doing this

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Asked by Mrs.Jolly at 12:16 PM on Oct. 16, 2009 in Adoption

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Answers (12)
  • You have to let him know.
    He has to sign over his parental rights.
    You cant adopt your son out just because you dont like his father,
    (Im sorry to say I wish I could do it LOL )
    You will have to get a lawyer and talk to them about it.

    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 12:18 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • If the father hasnt had contact in over a year i believe you can run an ad in the paper for a certain number of weeks. if you actually know how to get ahold of him then i think you are obligated to send him a letter. You will have to contact an attorney for this.

    Answer by ria7 at 12:20 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • It varies state by state, and also varies based on who has what type of custody.

    I would consult a lawyer.

    Answer by KATEISME at 12:27 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • Yea he hasn't seen him in two years he is really bad into drugs

    Answer by Mrs.Jolly at 1:26 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • I was just looking at your profile, your 2 y/o & baby are precious!!! You are 17 & just married in June? Congratulations! To answer your question the previous posters are right, you really should look into an attorney to make sure that you cover all your bases. With that said, just wanted to let you know of some things that YOU need to consider in this.

    The adoption can't be done w/o terminating the birth father's rights, so he will HAVE to be notified that it's going on. WHEN he is notified that you're wanting to do this, he may likely come back into the picture mad that you were trying this.

    Also, once your hubby adopts your 2 y/o, HE IS his father. If you & he split up later, HE CAN TAKE YOUR SON. He can get custody of both kids. Right now, everything is peachy, but I wouldn't let someone adopt my child w/o knowing them a LONG, LONG, LONG time. This happened to 2 people I know. Maybe wait a bit. No hurry, right?

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 1:38 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • You can't without some form of his involvement (or notice to him) because his rights cannot be taken away (or given away) without his consent.

    I wish you the best of luck!

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 3:26 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • H ehas to sign over rights.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:29 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • Me and my husband grew up together

    Answer by Mrs.Jolly at 5:27 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • Mrsjolly, Greetings to you,I am sorry you are dealing with ALL you are dealing with. It sounds like you truly want what is best for your children. As the others have said, the Father of your first child(son), does have rights. We all make mistakes when we are young, for this is how we get wiser, as we get older. I am NOT condoning DRUGS in any way, so do NOT misunderstand me. Please contact an attorney, to guide you in your wishes. I wish only to ask you to "think before you act", on trying to terminate the rights of your 'EX'. He must become accountable for the care and welfare of your son, so get him into court. If your husband loves both your children as his very own, he will not be going anywhere anytime soon:) In the time it will take for you to get your EX, to start paying for his chld, he may just surprise you, and become a healthy drug-free, Father, and do the right thing by being responsible! If not...cont.

    Answer by ceejay1 at 5:58 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • You will still be way ahead of your game-plan, by having all the legal requirements to move forward. You and your DH, in the mean time, will be Blessed with each day being spent as good role models, and loving parents. Ask any of these fine parents on here whom have adopted their children. They will most certainly vouch that, being a "good' and loving parent has nothing to do with 'DNA". Your Husband can still be a great Dad, even if "for now', he cannot adopt your son! You have so much time....maybe you can contact your "EX"S" Parents, and see what thoughts they may have in being able to help provide for their could not hurt. Besides, they, too , have rights to know their Grandson, if they do not already. Good Luck, Blessings, C.J.

    Answer by ceejay1 at 6:03 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

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