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If your SO watches porn, does it make you uncomfortable? (no bashers please)

I'm not comfortable with the idea at all. I don't like knowing that my DH could be fantasizing about other women when he's supposed to be completely faithful to me. I don't look at other men the way I look at him so I expect the same in return. I know I'm insecure, so I beat the bashers to the punch there. He respects my wishes, but I just wish I could be like the women that are okay with it. Any tips??? I'm so confused.

 
nicolemstacy

Asked by nicolemstacy at 12:21 PM on Oct. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,807 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Sweetie, if it makes you uncomfortable, and your hubby isn't opposed to NOT watching it, don't compromise yourself. That's exactly how it is in my marriage--neither of us watches porn, and quite frankly its just one less thing to ever become a problem in our relationship. If it aint broke dont fix it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:23 PM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • The reason I'm okay with it is because we talked about it... a lot. I know that my husband isn't sitting there fantasizing about having sex with someone else... he's getting a visual that makes him think of having sex with me. I trust him to be honest with me about that much of it. It's not a big deal to him, so he has no reason to lie to me and say he thinks of me when really he would be thinking of someone else... I would just say "Okay, then I'm not comfortable with it" and he would stop watching, no problems. It's the same as when I see an attractive man (or watch porn myself lol)... sure, I notice, I get turned on.... but I want my HUSBAND, not anyone else.

    Talk to him about it.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 12:31 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • I honestly don't mind if my husband watches porn. And it can be fun to watch together. Learn some new moves, and positions. Also helps when you act out what you see on TV. There was a time when I didn't want my man to watch porn, but as you stated, that was due to my own insecurities.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:32 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • What if you watch it with him? Maybe tell him something you fantasize about and have him look for porn with that theme. My husband looks for porn that he thinks I will enjoy all the time. Like I'm not all about the fake blond with implants giving some dude a blow job. So a lot of times when I watch with him, he skips the blow job parts. He once found some porn that had an artistic feel to it. That was pretty cool. There is a thing like netflix only it's porn, I can't remember the name of it, though, and he used to rent DVDs from there after he researched ones that were more women friendly. Some of the old school 70's movies are pretty good. They have that 70's cheesiness going on that will make you laugh and the women are more natural looking, so to me, they don't make me feel as insecure.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:35 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • I do not mind if my husband watches porn. (he does not do it very often). I know he loves me, and it is no reflection on his feelings for me, our relationship or our sex life. He is not fantasising about the porn queen on the screen, or being unfaithful.
    Have you thought about watching it with him? I have watched it with my husband and then noticed alot if it is the same old stuff, and can get quite boring.
    I have noticed that sometimes my husband is 'inspired' after watching porn, and willing to try new things. The last time he tried something new- and Wow!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • Not at all. We just don't watch it together. We have totally different tastes in porn, that's why.
    NightPhoenix

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 12:40 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • I don't mind. I also have some 'porn rules' We only watch women on women porn. It fulfills the fantasy we both have without risking the invovlement of another person. It works for us.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:50 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • We watch together, thats the only time it really happens.
    Bothered me at first and then we talked and we compromised(he used to sneak watch it when we first got together).

    He's respected my wishes and Ive respected his.
    Amaranth361

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 1:32 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • Thank you all for your input. I really really appreciate it!
    nicolemstacy

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 1:55 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • I lost respect for my husband because of his addiction to watching porn. Now he is my EX.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on Oct. 16, 2009