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My mom found little girl panties under my brother's mattress.

My mom told me today that while making my brother's bed she found several pairs of little girl panties under his mattress. A little info on brother. He's 19, he's mentally handi-capped, and he was molested as a child/teen.His mental issues are pretty bad. My dad beat him when he was 13 months and left permanent brain damage. My mom was asking me what she should do. I told her she needs to get him in counseling. I do not believe he's ever molested a child, mainly b/c he's never had any opportunity to do so. But that doesn't mean I can honestly say he wouldn't do it in the future. Will counseling be enough? What should I do? What should my mom do? I'm so confused!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:18 PM on Oct. 16, 2009 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Oh that's so hard! I'm so sorry your family has had such horrible things happen in the past, and that things seem to be so unsettling now. I am by no means an expert in this area, but here is my gut reaction: She needs to confront him about it. Show him the underpants and ask him what it is all about. She needs to send a clear message to him that the behavior is unacceptable. Even if he hasn't hurt anyone yet, the fantasy in unhealthy and needs to stop. She should get him into counseling and make a very vigilant effort to keep him away from children.

    Good luck, I hope things get easier for you guys.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 8:26 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • Id get therapy for the whole family. He needs it the most but you guys were apart of the dramatic events in the past too. GL Its gotta be hard
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 8:22 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • You need to find out where the little girl panties came from and make sure that the little girl is okay. As far as where to go for that kind of stuff, I would do an internet search for a sexual abuse specialist in your area. Stop it before it happens. Try everything.
    Steff107

    Answer by Steff107 at 8:23 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • And just because he is brother doesnt mean that your own kids are safe. Im not saying he is a molestor BUT you really dont know so be careful and dont allow your kids around him alone
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 8:24 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • She did confront him about it and he acted like he didn't know anything about it. I don't know if it was an act or not. It's hard for him to understand most conversation. We don't know HOW to ask him so that he can understand. It's hard b/c there are no self-help books to help family deal with his condition b/c it's not common. There's all kinds of help for children with autism, down syndrome and things like that. I feel like I should step in somehow b/c my mom isn't very good with confrontation. She stayed with my dad even after he nearly killed my brother. She would still be with him if he hadn't of killed himself.
    renea20

    Answer by renea20 at 8:36 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • Well, I forgot to click the anon button...oh, well.
    renea20

    Answer by renea20 at 8:41 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • That's all really horrible. I'm so sorry that all this had to happen. Your mom is lucky to have a strong and loving daughter like you. I hope your family can find some peace, and I hope you find help for your brother.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 8:48 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • I agree that first and foremost you need to determine where they came from. Clearly if he has them he was able to find the free and unsupervised time to get them. I would be curious about any neighborhood little girls nearby. Could he have bought them new? That is the most unsettling right now. As soon as possible, he must be put into some type of counselling. I understand that his comprehension level isn't high, but with the right specialist maybe it can be determined whether or not he's actually molested before and maybe the point can be driven home that it is WRONG. I'm so sorry for all that your family has been through.
    WindyTheWidow

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 9:09 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • The only place we can figure that he could have got them is from my grandma's. My little cousin stays there a lot and she keeps extra clothes for her there. My brother was over there weekend before last. But to the best of our knowledge, he's never stayed there when my cousin was there. She's 7.
    renea20

    Answer by renea20 at 9:24 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • Thank you so much beckcorc. That means a lot to me! I can't help but to be angry with my mom over this. Maybe if she would have gotten him help when he was molested before this wouldn't be happening. And I've never completely forgiven her for staying with my dad after everything he did to us. The reason she got pregnant with me is b/c he raped her. It seems to me a normal woman would get the hell away from a man like that. Not marry him and have another kid with him!
    renea20

    Answer by renea20 at 9:28 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

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