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Can you ask- no smoking around your children?

If you'd like to bring your family to Grandma's for the holidays can I politely hint. No smoking around our new baby & our toddlers? My favorite uncle is in his 40's and still lives home. He loves cigars and all. So much so the entire house is cigar smoke! Its in everything. From the towels, tp., butter, ice cream etc.. My grandparents are geting up there in age. So I want to spend as much time with them as I can. I also want my children to know them. But I can't have my kids around all that smoke from my uncles etc.. I don't think there's a nice way to hint. So I think we have to decline the invite right?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:56 PM on Oct. 16, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (32)
  • I think the only time you can tell people to not smoke, is at your house. If other people alow it at their house, there is not muckh you can do about it. But just not go there.

    Answer by louise2 at 9:59 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • well even if they dont light up when you'rethere there's still second hand smoke in the home already as you everything the scent is on it wouldnt matter if they did it while you were there or not. but me i would decline.

    Answer by naturepeace at 10:00 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • Personally, I don't like it either. My son was premature with breathing issues, so I hated it.And it does bother me that they don't care when they light up around him. I actually quit going to those places because I'm not going to tell someone else what to do in their own home. That's just me. If they ask why you don't come over, I would tell them. But I don't know that I would show up and then tell them.

    Answer by Steff107 at 10:00 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • ask kindly if he can smoke 'em outside! if he refuses, then dont come. if they all get offended, let them know you requested he not smoke since you dont want to expose that crap to the youngens smokin outside isnt a big deal! he still gets to smoke the cigars...just not in a crowded home

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 10:00 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • You have the right to ask that he not smoke in the house prior to you coming and while you are there. My father and I went rounds on this one. He acted like an ass every time I said something to him about washing his hands before he would play with the baby. I won't even go to his house because every square inch is saturated in nicotine because he chainsmokes inside 24-7. I hated having the baby passed back to me and having to change his clothes and wash him up because he smelled like cigarettes just from my dad's hands! The ironic thing is DF smokes, but only outside, and he is adamant about washing his hands afterwards and will even change his shirt if he thinks it's smoky before picking up the baby. He even told his mom she had to wash hands before handling DS, she got mad because she thought I said so, and I would've if he hadn't. Anyway, you have the right to decline if they won't accomodate. Contd...

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 10:02 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • That's really tough. I don't blame you, though. I'd ask beforehand if it would be a problem for him to go outside and smoke while you're there. I would explain to him that if it were just you and your husband that you'd have no problem with it, and that you truly hate to ask this of him, but explain that it isn't good for your children's respiratory system to inhale the smoke. I mean, seriously, it won't likely harm them at all to be around the residual left over smoke at all, especially if only for a day or two, so as long as he goes outside, they'll be fine. Even if he doesn't, maybe you could just visit for the afternoon.

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 10:02 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • Yeah I would just invite them to your place. We rent a room from someone else so we can't tell them not to smoke in their own home. I did, however, ask before she was born, if no one smoke around her. Our room is the entire up staries and I don't smoke up here nor does anyone else. And just to add, things are getting really bad here with other things so we are doing all we can to get out soon!! And once we do that, there will be NO SMOKING in the house/apartment!

    Answer by CrystalJanie at 10:03 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • You don't have to endanger your child just because someone else is a jerk. But be prepared for a potential battle, most smokers are UBER-sensitive about it. You could just invite them over to your house OR just say your LO's Ped said he shouldn't be around smoke because of allergies, asthma, etc.

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 10:03 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • no you don't have that right to ask that. that is their home. i don't agree with smoking but no one has that right to ask that in someone else's home. just don't go there and tell them why. they smoke, the smell is still there in the home and will be on your clothes when you leave.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:33 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

  • While I agree with you for wanting to keep your son away from the smoke you don't really have a right to request that others not smoke in their own home. It's your choice whether you go there or not. If it bothers you that bad, have them over at your house so you can control who does what.

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 10:49 PM on Oct. 16, 2009

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