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What the heck does he mean?

I told my fiance I want another baby. He said ok, but I think he just wanted sex at the moment. I asked again when he wasn't so "in the mood" and he said "if you are/get pregnant we will keep the baby"

Is that man code for something? Like he doesn't really want to actively try to get pregnant but he is cool if it happens? I stopped BC, he knows that and hasn't been using condoms or even pulling out(he thinks that works).

Just confused, does he want a babyor not?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:49 AM on Oct. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • maybe he does but just dont want to say it...or try just let it happen maybe??

    Answer by firstimemomm603 at 12:54 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • It sounds like he's unsure. Talk to him about it.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 12:55 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • He sounds indifferent. And that's not the situation to bring a baby into.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:04 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • he does sound indifferent. but here's the catch. you could take advantage of his attitude to help you get pregnant. perhaps he's just trying to keep it cool about you actually getting pregnant so you don't get too worked up about it. this could help to not make it such a stressful thing if you take it casually. you know what I mean? you know how it goes for so many who actively try to get pregnant and end up getting themselves so worked up that it makes it so much harder to conceive. either way, you should def talk about it with him just to get an idea of what's going on in his head.

    Answer by islandmom85 at 1:11 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • Many men are excited about their first child and after that are ambivalent about any additional children. It's not that he wouldn't be thrilled with another child just that he wouldn't actively seek to have another child. At this point telling him you want another child is like telling him you want another dog. He's thinking, "That's fine as long as you feed it and clean up after it". This is not to say that he wouldn't love the child, just that he sees you as the primary care giver.

    Let's put it another way......

    Answer by always_chris at 1:26 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • Women have a wish list mentality. We think about the things that we want. We rationalize them, dream about them, seek approval for them and put them on our wish list. From something as inconsequential as a new set of dishes to life changing decisions like having another child. They all go on our wish list. Men, on the other hand, do not. They do not wait for, plan for or wish for anything. If they want or need something they get it. This is why they can never tell you what they want for Christmas or their birthday. They don’t have a wish list and they don’t understand why we do. They don’t want to try and figures us out. They don’t want to guess what we want or what we like. They want everything to be crystal clear. If he is ambivalent about having another child what he is really saying is, “If you want another child then have another child. You know how to make one”.

    Answer by always_chris at 1:27 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • Definitally talk to him about it. Do it when he's not in the mood and tell him its a serious disussion.

    Answer by mommaof21986 at 4:10 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • basically sounds liek with out one you gusy are fine and with one things will still be good..... i would continue trying, or just let it happen.. atleast hes not saying no.

    Answer by jlouise03 at 8:46 PM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • perhaps he dosn't want to get too excited just in case it doesn't happen. One of my friends tried for months to have a baby with her husband and when she did get pregnant they were so excited. but she mis-carried. They tried again and once again got pregnant but her husband was so scarred from the first time around that he didnt acknowledge the baby until she was about ready to popl

    Answer by EODMommy at 1:26 AM on Oct. 18, 2009

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