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How can I make my daughter less clingy?

My daughter is 3 years old now and very smart. However I find that now she is so clingy. I also have a 11 month old son and a disabled husband to look after but if I pay any attention to anyone else she throws the biggest tantrum, shove her brother out of the way. She is always screaming

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Asked by mommytobewith1 at 12:53 AM on Oct. 17, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (4)
  • That really depends on your relationship with her and how much one on one time she gets.

    I know that my DSS was really clingy and he was (at that time) my only child so he ALWAYS got all my attention. ...It broke my heart but the only thing that worked was forcing him to do things himself. ...he used to have the biggest fit when i was trying to cook dinner. He wanted to be in the kitchen with me right under my feet. ...So, i put up the baby gate. ...he would stand by that baby gate and cry and cry ...until dinner was ready. ...But he only did this for a short time. ...maybe 4-5 times? ...and then he realized that he had to play by himself.

    That's only one example of course. There have been lots of other times when i've really had to push him to be his own person.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:04 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • When my dd was about one she had a bad case of the Mommies. She simply wasn't happy unless she was in my arms. If I was doing something where I could not pick her up she would scream bloody murder. She would continue this until I picked her up. About this same time I had to put her in daycare and the lady that ran that daycare explained it to me like this:

    You are the big cookie. She wants some of that big cookie. She needs to know that she can only have the big cookie as a reward for behaving and when she misbehaves she can't have the big cookie. It's hard as hell for the first few days but it does work. Talk to her in a normal calm tone of voice and don't rise to the bait. Keep talking to her and ignore that fact that your sweet little angel has been replace by an extra from a Wes Craven movie. Try to engage her in a conversation.


    Answer by always_chris at 1:43 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • continued....

    Say things like, "I think when I'm finished here I'd like to lay on the floor and color for a while. What do you think? Does that sound like a good idea?" Keep talking to her about how much you would like to do things that you know she likes. When she begins to calm down put down whatever you are doing and reward her with your physical attention. Hug her and kiss her and tell her how much you appreciate her being patient.

    After a few days your little monster will be replace by the child who sits and waits patiently for you but will probably take this opportunity to talk to you about whatever is on her mind. This usually means that she will start telling you stories about her favorite characters of which you will only catch a few words but play along.

    It is heartache for the first few days. I promise you it will be worth it.

    Best of luck

    Answer by always_chris at 1:44 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • Praise her when she does good. Spend a little time that is just for her. Tell her how it is a big help when she is patient. Get her involved with the care you do for others. Tell her you need her to help. We all want to feel needed.

    Answer by annthomas at 3:19 PM on Oct. 17, 2009

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