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HUSBAND

so i am really thinking about leaving my husband but i need some advice. so my husband and i have a 2 month old son he left for basic training when our son was 2 days old. we have been together for almost 2 years. ever since we have been together he is always going on chat lines meeting females having sex with females. he is finding females he doesnt know telling them he loves them and everything like that. He was texting females when i was in labor with our son. He has been writing his ex telling her he loves her and misses her and wants to be back with her. since he has been in basic training.. but he tells me he loves me. he has not changed. i dont need to be treated like trash anymore i need to be treated right. he has tried to hook up with my friends and everything. should i stay with him or should i leave him please let me know what you think i should do..

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Jaydensmommy127

Asked by Jaydensmommy127 at 4:12 AM on Oct. 17, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (15)
  • Awww. I'm sorry.
    I can't tell you what to do, but if I was you I would consider counseling first. If that doesn't help then I would definitely leave. Good luck to you!
    theutilitarian

    Answer by theutilitarian at 4:22 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • if you know this information for certain and it's not just emotions take hold of the situation, then i would ask what would be best for your child... It sounds to me like this guy needs a reality check, hopefully divorce doesn't have to be the answer. Is he doing this in front of you without thought of how it would affect you or his child? I do know that seperating while he's gone is going to create even more confusion than there would be otherwise, however I'm really not much help there since I don't think something like this situation be held with anything less than full attention from all parties involved. he sounds immature and not ready to be a daddy or a loving hubby but i know that some men do grow into it and have to learn over a long period of time. Good luck and God bless whatever decision you make
    Marri357

    Answer by Marri357 at 4:25 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • Get away fast!
    IMAMOM2-2KIDS

    Answer by IMAMOM2-2KIDS at 4:31 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • Um, are there any good things about him???
    Drake007

    Answer by Drake007 at 4:41 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • I wouldn't want to be with a guy that has no respect for me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:06 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • First, you do NOT need to be with someone that is repeatedly cheating on you... However, here's the thing - I would wait. My reasons for that are these: 1 - while he's in Basic, he's not going to be able to actually physically cheat on you, but you are able to get benefits for you and your baby, because he is Active Duty, even if he's at basic - someone should have helped you with this already, but if you have questions, please pm me. 2 - Once he gets out of basic, IF you want to try to work it out (honestly, I'm not so sure he's worth it, but that's your call...) you can point out to him - point blank - that you have hard proof of what he's doing. AND - that this is a UCMJ offense, and that if he isn't willing to go to marriage counseling with you - and STOP doing this, then you WILL be going to his chain of command with it, and does he REALLY want to get busted first thing?

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 5:08 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • cont

    Just keep in mind, even if you do this, that doesn't mean that he won't still be cheating on you, or that he won't be more sneaky about it. Because honestly, as important as trust is in a marriage in general, it's even more important with a military couple, because there are so many periods of extended separations.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 5:11 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • You need to leave. God forbid he brings home and std or even aids. Its not fair to you or that baby. He doesnt deserve to be raised thinking that thats how a man treats his wife. Do it for him if you cant do it for yourself. Counceling is an option but at this point i doubt its gonna help any. And if hes so open as to what hes doing then who knows what he could be hiding. I really wish you the best. This is a hard situation but its time for a much needed change
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 6:22 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • That isn't a marriage--- its a frigging hoax. I'd bet you're just being used for cooking, cleaning, and a backup in case he can't get laid elsewhere. Generally, I say not to make any big decisions before you're getting a good nights sleep again (and have been for a month), but this sounds like an extenuating circumstance. Leave him!
    IrishMommaC

    Answer by IrishMommaC at 7:54 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • I have to agree with IrishMommaC. He's probably just using you. If i was in this situation my husband would have been gone as soon as i found out he cheated on me. You don't deserve to be treated like that. GL
    jnsdrf

    Answer by jnsdrf at 10:29 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

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