Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Am I being selfish?

My son's birthday is the 20th and mine is the 19th so we just do our birthday's together from now on..Well, our party was supposed to be today. And when I say our, I really mean his because I don't care about mine. Well, I went to every single place yesterday to order his cake and they were either booked and couldn't do it or said that I had to order one of theirs. I even went to Walmart-which is a big deal for me since I boycott Walmart. I know it's just a cake, but the cake is a big part of the party. And part of me tries to compete with my friends' kids' parties. I know that's wrong, but I do it. I cancelled the party and rescheduled it for next weekend. It sucks because the party is at my parents house and I like an hour and a half away from them, but that's what I'm choosing to do. I just feel like maybe I'm taking away the true reason for a birthday party. Part of me just wants to tell everyone...

Answer Question
 
SaraP1989

Asked by SaraP1989 at 8:16 AM on Oct. 17, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 14 (1,621 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • If you want to come to his party, you can drive down to Clarksville and come to our house. But then noone would come since people in my family suck.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 8:16 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • cake competition? lol im sure its great for your friends and stuff , trying to compete with eachother (it would probably be my little secret thing too), but you say its more of HIS day, so i would have just made my own cake, like go online and get some ideas and make your own, thats something to envy. well thats what i would have done anyways, but now you got planty of time to get the cake you want (and beat those other moms lol). its not really selfish IMO just a fun thing for you to do, but it is more of his birthday.
    danette624

    Answer by danette624 at 8:22 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • Yeah, I don't know how to make a cake. The cake I want is what matches the way I did his room-animals. It's super cute. I just dont' get why it was such a big deal. Last year I went the day before his party and ordered it and it was fine. They just annoy me sometime.s
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 8:30 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • I honestly wouldn't have cancelled a party because I couldn't find the cake I wanted. Anyone can follow the directions on the back of a Duncan Hines box. You and your son could've made it together and I bet he would've loved it. A lot of people probably changed their plans to be there, maybe even rescheduling some stuff for next weekend. Since you asked our opinion.......here it is.....I'm not sure "selfish" is the right word but definitely a little overdramatic. Don't spend the rest of your life in competition with your friends, you may just miss out on the most important things, like what your son really wants on his birthday. Did you ask him?
    WindyTheWidow

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 8:49 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • I agree with windy. Hopefully all of the people who were going to come today are able to make it next weekend on such short notice... Personally I wouldn't have waited until the last minute to order a cake that I wanted specially made like that, and if I had I would have just gotten one that was in the cooler case there or made one myself. It definitely should be more about making the day as special as possible for your son and less about competing. Besides what happens as they get older and other people start doing more and more and things start getting bigger and bigger. He'll start to expect that and that's not what it should be all about and you could end up having an ungrateful kid when you reach a point that you can't "keep up".
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:03 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • My son will be two, he couldn't care less about the cake or even having a party. Yes, anyone can follow directions, but it won't be as good. I'd rather spend money and be proud of that than make something that looked crappy that I wouldn't want people to ever see.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 9:18 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • It's not selfish but next year order your cake about 2 weeks in advance.
    mommorgan

    Answer by mommorgan at 9:24 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • Canceling a birthday party over not getting the cake you want seems very over-dramatic and really immature! I mean really how long does the cake last? Just get one off the bakery shelf and have them put on some decorations, or go back to the toy aisle and grab a small bag of animals and stick them on there! It's not like your son will care at 2, actually the toys would probably be better b/c then he can keep them! If I was a relative and had made plans only to have you throw this "I cant get the right cake because I waited until the last minute so now you all have to change your plans" fit, I would NOT be going to the party! Obviously this is all about YOU-NOT your SON like it should be and YOU not wanting to feel outdone by someone elses cake!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:30 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • Not trying to be rude but......if he is two.....and couldn't care less about the cake......then why was the cake such a big deal? (Typing this as gently as possible) The cake was a big deal because you care too much about what other people think. I really doubt it would've stood out in anyone's mind 5 years from now that your two year old didn't have a custom made cake. You are making a mountain out of a molehill. Like YOU said, you are in competition with your friends over who has the best birthday party for their child. There wasn't a city wide cake shortage in your town, you just wanted the cake that you wanted and no one could make it on such a short notice. I would've bought a pre-made one and went on about the party. You underestimate yourself, I was just at a birthday party where the mom made the cake from a box and it was better than some of the most expensive cakes I've tasted.
    WindyTheWidow

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 9:37 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • O HONEY.... u need some help dear...getta grip, make'a cake, smile!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Oct. 17, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.