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Family events as the step-parent.

Why is it soo hard for me to feel comfortable in my own skin with the bio mom is around? I know she's gonna be there forever. I've been with my husband and sd for six years! You would think I'd get used to it by now. I just really don't like the things she does. And whenever I see her, I just wish she would go away! I know...I know..she'll always be there...she is that child's mom...yadda yadda yadda. It's just...she's a partier, minipulates, lies, runs a million questions through my darling sd. I swear she was put on this planet to annoy the hell out of me! GRrrr!

 
aklebeyers

Asked by aklebeyers at 10:32 PM on Oct. 17, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 3 (19 Credits)
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Answers (5)
  • I wouldn't worry too much about it. i know it's hard sometimes, but don't give them the impression that you're uncomfortable cuz it only makes them happier if they or the mom is trying to get to you. I, as a sm am lucky that I don't have that problem. However, my husbnds ex does not intimidate me at all. She is the ex from HELL and is afraid of me for some reason. She's never made an attempt to call me or discuss anything w/regards to the kids. I've never bad-mouthed her in front of the kids, she on the other hand can't wait to talk crap about me to the girls-her girls. I'm very confident in my skin with all family mine, hers & my husbands. The girls have expressed to me how and what she says about me and THEY came to their own conclusion that THEIR mom is jealous of me! So, you don't have to be uncomfortable or defensive cuz the kids know what they see. So hold your head up high and smile, be confident! Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 PM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • I had a step mom
    She didnt like my mom either, she though my mom was a threat for some reason

    but in reality my mom had no care for her, the SM would be all uptight around her and my mom would just be herself not even caring about the SM

    well all in all the SM never got over it lol and its funny because she'll now stay home because my dads family still has my mom over for Thanksgiving dinner and such and they LOVE my mom, and she's just jealous...LOL

    my advice from an outsider...dont feel awkward, she is the mother of the child so yes you will have her around as long as you and your hubby ar e together but just think
    when ever your all worked up she doesnt give a rats ass and you just seem weird in the end
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:48 PM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • well for some reason your dh picked her. I hope you dont talk badly about her around your sd. That being said if she is as lousy as a person as you described you should pity her and not feel uncomfortable when she is around. Maybe if you looked at it like no matter what I think of this woman she did give birth to my wonderful sd.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 10:50 PM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • No, not bad mouthing her. Being mature. Just expressing my emotions and venting on here. YOu just sometimes have those deep feelings you need to get rid of to someone who doesn't know the people. She just tries to always put a wall up between my SD and me. Like this past summer, she put my SD up to a mean joke against me. I had a lot going on with my grandparents in the hospital and I was under a lot of stress in general. And the bio mom, not having a job or anything else to do with her time...was just to bothered by a simple request of me asking my sd to be ready on time because I had a lot going on one night. She told her to call me and say she was going out of town and wouldn't be ready on time. Just to be a b****. She's always doing something. I know my sd loves her mom, but I just think her mom puts a lot of heartache on her with all the guilt trips she plants. Trying to be the bigger person is hard.
    aklebeyers

    Answer by aklebeyers at 11:20 PM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • My kids stepmom is nervous around me. She hates me for some reason and tells people all kinds of lies. I went out and had margaritas with friends first time in 7 years she told everyone I was a partier.lol I live my life am remarried and really don't give two shits about what her and the ex are doing as long as they are good to the kids they don't hear anything from me. Sadly she lets her insecurities and hatred towards me out on my kids. So I am trying to get visitation cut down to only visits with dad. Of course now I am the biggest b in the world. I don't care she is hurting my kids by running me down. I don't do that in my home I only say positives about them. Lately I just don't say anything.

    She calls me a bio mom or birth mom too. I find it amusing I am simply mom she is stepmom. I think that is very telling. She is so insecure she has to act like I gave my kids up to feel better about herself. Grow up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:08 AM on Oct. 18, 2009

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