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He doesn't want to let me be present at the "intervention"

My MIL needs serious help. She has a lot of issues and takes a lot of aggression out on DH, me, DH's sister, and others. She lies about the way one of us treats her to the others, trying to start fights between us. Most recently she lied to DH's sister and best friend about me - saying a lot of nasty, untrue stuff, After that, all us "kids" decided that we need to confront her about her behavior. I helped plan this "intervention", and feel it is necessary b/c MIL has been especially vicious towards me, but never to my face, and I feel I have a right to be present and air my feelings. But suddenly, DH has decided that this is a "family matter" that ought to be dealt with by only he and his sister. He doesn't want me there. I am suspicious that it is b/c he has been appeasing his mom when she talks about me and doesn't want me to find out. Any advice? Do I have the right to be there? I've been in this fam for 3 yrs!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:49 PM on Oct. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • dont let him bs u. you are family. wtf that is not right ..you should show up anyways....u have the right too...and good luck
    firstimemomm603

    Answer by firstimemomm603 at 10:53 PM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • wow if my husband told me family only. I would be like so are you saying Im not family??? YOu have a right to be there especially since alot of the hurtful behavior is geared towards you. I think your suspicions about him not wanting you there are right.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 10:53 PM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • you are family!!!!!
    naturepeace

    Answer by naturepeace at 10:56 PM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • Maybe he thinks she will be more willing to listen if you are not present. It's possible that she's jealous of you and that causes her to react harshly toward you and that might distract her from listening to them. If he has asked you not to be there then I'd honor his request.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:05 PM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • His family line is bogus, but he may be trying to protect you from her aggression.
    IrishMommaC

    Answer by IrishMommaC at 11:13 PM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • Oh honey - you and I need to become best friends :). My MIL HATES my guts, regardless of what good or bad thing I do. We aren't at the intervention part - and I don't think we will ever be there. She manipulates that entire family and no one knows it. (Sorry, going off on a tangent lol)...I would be pissed too. I would demand that I was there. I never know what she is telling my husband or advising him to do. And sometimes, he'll agree just to get her to shut up. But that still doesn't excuse the fact that she's saying shit. Oh hon - I feel bad for you because I'm going through something similar and I know how frustrating it really is!
    SuzyQ515

    Answer by SuzyQ515 at 12:44 AM on Oct. 18, 2009

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