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What would you think or say or do?

My husband said in the middle of an argument, that "I am on the backseat, when it comes to our daughter..."

My daughter is having some issues in school, but my husband seems to be taking that out on me, and finally I had enough of it and fought back, and this is what he said to me after I said that he was being rude to me...


Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:23 PM on Oct. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • I have no idea what that means

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:24 PM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • Wait, he said HE was on the backseat or YOU were on the backseat?

    Answer by momrocks1000 at 11:25 PM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • I would think he is trying to say his opinion isn't being taken seriously.

    Answer by 07upsydaisy at 11:25 PM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • Yes I agree w/Upsydaisy if he said HE was but if he said YOU were I was thinking maybe it meant that you weren't being proactive or involved enough... which is it?

    Answer by momrocks1000 at 11:28 PM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • okay..lets break this down more.....

    My husband is stressed out that our daughter is having issues in school, and he has been taking his stress out on me by yelling screaming etc. Finally I told him that he is yelling at me for no reason and that its pissing me off. Finally he said that my feelings as well as myself take the backseat to my daughter and her issues...

    So, I am asking feelings dont mean shit? How would you react to your husband saying that you are nothing compared to your daughters issues....Arent we suppsed to work together and help her? Am I supposed to feel bad or not?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • I think he means when he gives opinions or maybe advice or anyting involving your daughter, that you seem to think it's stupid, or you dismiss it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 PM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • I think what he maybe trying to say is your daughter is the main focus right now. He sounds worried about the well being of your daughter. Try working with him to help her and not worry so much about you right now. I would blow up too if my husband was worried about himself and not the task at hand which is our children.
    Let him know that you want to help and you are frustrated too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 PM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • Don't let him dismiss you like that. You treat people how to treat you and he is not handing the stress of what is happening w/your d the right way, this does no one any good. When he is not angry try discussing this as well as the fact that you need to work together to resolve the issues. It's not you against him, it's you and him against the world, that's what I used to always say. Good luck!

    Answer by momrocks1000 at 11:42 PM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • If he is saying that you are on the backseat he is saying you dont matter when it comes to this, your opinion is secondary

    if he is saying he is on the backseat he is saying his opinions are secondary or dont matter

    What would I do....I would go up to him when he doesnt seem busy, I like to bring up things that may start drama with my hubby when we're taking a shower because he has no where to go and he cant get mad while im naked

    lol you can try that but either way I would talk to him alone, very calmly explain your feelings, tell him what vibe or feeling your getting from him reguarding the situation and have him tell you how he really feels and then that way you can find common ground. After you both understand how one another feels discuss solutions to the chaos and ways to help your daughter

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 11:45 PM on Oct. 17, 2009

  • Ladies I have been married a long time and I can say men are not made of stone. They handle stress different than we do. He is more than likely saying something along the lines: right now the focus is not on your feelings.
    We women get pretty damn mouthy too when we are worried or stressed out. It's not just a guy thing. Lets all be honest here. I know I get snippy when I get worried.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 PM on Oct. 17, 2009

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