Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Neighbor problem...

My friend and I and my 16 month old daughter just moved into a new apartment complex. So far everything has been going pretty good except for one thing. Our neighbor in the apartment right next store asked us for a ride to the store one day because her car was broke down, so we gave her a ride, and now, as my instinct told me in the immediate aftermath, it has become a habit. She comes over DAILY to ask for rides, and last night she showed up at almost one in the morning and woke us up to ask if she could borrow movies. My roommate and I both work full time and have to get up early in the morning so we aren't usually awake very late. How would you deal with this?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:52 AM on Oct. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • I would just tell her that coming over at that time of night is disrespectful and isn't to happen again.  You don't have to be mean but in this situation I would be firm.  This same thing has happened to me.  Except my neighbor wanted to bum rides and smokes and food and whatever else she thought she could get.  I put my foot down after I got sick of it and told her not to come over period anymore.  Is she offering any gas money?  My neighbor never did.  Gas costs money.  Helping her out once or twice is a good thing, becoming her personal taxi is not cool.


    Answer by Katrina3016 at 2:01 AM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • Sounds waaaay tacky to me. I have a neighbor who asks me for the occasional favor and I learned to ask her for a few. We established our friendship over a couple of years and we never let a favor go un-noticed or unappreciated. We never CHARGE each other anything we JUST KNOW when something needs paying Now that I have cancer she brings me plates of food and in exchange she will ask me to translate things for her or help her fill out her unemployment claims. A good neighbor lives with the belief "You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours" attitude. Granted if you were friends with her before hand then yes, sometimes ppl need help. Asking for a movie at 1am? I would tell her politely or even in hidden innuendos, such as, "wow, I was so tired all day at work, I'm not used to being woken up so late". I don't know your personality, but mine is such that I can joke and get my point across. Good Luck.


    Answer by ItsMeGigi69 at 2:14 AM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • I'd tell her to only come between certain hours. Do not drive her anywhere unless it is life and death emergency when it is inconvincent for you. Make her pay for the gas. I have done this with friends (husband's friends) who were constantly begging for ride and coming over in the middle of the night. Nip it in the bud. I was polite about it at first... found it didn't work, so I just laid down the law. If they came at 2am to hang out or for a ride (the only difference is, they had to -walk- 15-20 minutes to my home so it couldn't be an emergency) I just opened the door, made sure they weren't bleeding or on the verge of losing consciousness, or had to get to a relative because of an emergency... if not, then I just shut the door and went back to bed. I know I'm a little bit on the bitchy side, but being insomniac and having an infant (at the time) ... and being awakened in the middle of the night??

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:41 AM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • I have had the same problem, a girl who lives about 3 apartments down from me would come bum everything. She came to get cigs, for another neighbor(who I am really good friends with) and herself because they were both out, and so I gave her 6 and told her 3 was for her and 3 was for my friend, and come to find out she had nly given my friend 1 saying that I had only give her 2. She almost always gave me a couple of dollars for gas, but I drew the line whenever she come wanting yet another ride and I told her that I didnt feel lt, because I had been in the emergency room ALL day with a ruptured cyst, and had taken a lortab, and she still wanted me to take her, saying that I would be fine! After that when-ever she came down my husband told me to tell her that He wouldnt let me drive anywhere, she still didnt get the hint so I just quit opening the door period.

    Answer by rebel_momma at 3:09 AM on Oct. 18, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
DH and In-Laws

Next question overall (Religion & Beliefs)
Missing from the Bible?