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Should I be the one to apologize...?

A few days ago, a close friend and I got into a pretty bitter argument.
He was putting down the name that I chose, if the baby was a girl. DH and I were having a hard time thinking up of a good middle name, and as I was relaying this to my friend, he was saying that I should give her a Korean middle name, because I'm Korean. While I'm not completely disowning my culture or anything, my mother has already chosen a Korean name for girl and boy possibilities, and I don't want another Korean name to be attached, if that makes any sense at all.
His reasoning, however, was that Lily was a terribly obtuse, frustrating and completely boring name that nothing goes well with. He said that I was just "waiting for other boring Caucasian names to come up that I can shoot down until I come across and "old century, Gothic name" that I can label her as." When I got offended, he said "I'm not playing this name game. You're being combative."

Answer Question

Asked by K_Sawyer at 3:06 PM on Oct. 18, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 5 (83 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Continued...
    Then he signed off. I attempted to make conversation with him today, and he has been extremely chilly to me... :/
    The last time I was pregnant, he didn't talk to me until the baby was born, because he claimed that I was extremely combative (again), rude and completely annoying. Plus, he kept calling me "Grammy" which pissed me off, and asking "Is the baby born yet?"... and I wasn't even 8 weeks when he started asking.

    Argh. He can be a complete douche, and we're a lot alike, but I feel like if I don't even apologize, we won't ever have the "same level of conversation" but I just don't feel like I was in the wrong.
    I'm just annoyed with myself, and the situation.

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 3:08 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • He sound jelous, you sure he does not like you more then just friends?
    Anne goes with Lily Lily Ann

    Answer by louise2 at 3:16 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • I don't see how you were wrong. It's your child, you can name her whatever you like, and you weren't asking his opinion. You may have to accept that this friendship has run its course and move on.

    Another there any possibility this friend is attracted to you and is acting like this b/c your pregnancy reminds him he can't have you? Jealousy can make people say and do really stupid things sometimes. Just something to think about.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 3:16 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • Uh, I think 'Lily' is a beautiful name. I know a beautiful Laos girl named Lily - the only girl named Lily I know.
    Perhaps you shouldn't talk to him anymore - if he's such a douchebag. I wouldn't apologize. He'll either get over it or not.

    Answer by Blubuni99 at 3:18 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • You're not wrong. I agree with the PP who say it sounds like he is jealous. His behavior does not sound like that of just a friend.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 3:19 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • I don't see any reason why you should apologize. It's your dh and yours decision to name your baby. He shouldn't really have any input in naming your child unless you asked him.

    Answer by starbucks81 at 3:20 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • I think pp posters are on to something, it is kind of odd for a guy to be so interested in baby names, unless he has an intrest in the mommy doing the naming, I don't see how you did anything wrong, and you are free to name your baby what ever you and your DH decide too. I honestly, wouldn't contact him for awhile, he probably enjoys your "chasing" after him! See if he comes around after not hearing from you for a bit, I truly think his feelings for you are deeper than just friends!

    Answer by kimigogo at 3:21 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • Friends like that who needs enemies. Think about your future with him as a friend. Next he'll start picking out their prom dress's. He sounds controlling and a pregnant wife doesn't need the extra childish games. Walk away until you get a sincere apology. Then set the record straight, no more second grade conduct. You have a wonderful time with Lily. Such a sweet and precious name.

    Answer by skrush at 8:40 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

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