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Sex deprivation while husband is deployed

What did you do to manage not having any sex with your husband while he was away during deployment? Not think about it? Get a sex toy? I will be facing this next year. I'm not sure what to do to keep this out of my head for when he is gone.

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:02 PM on Oct. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Toys is the only thing I know of...

    Answer by midnightmoma at 7:03 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • Toys and a handheld shower head..those of you who have been there understand!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:09 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • Thank you anonymous. I'm glad to have some input from Wives/Girlfriends of someone that has been deployed on what you do!?!? LOL It just so happens I do have one of those, but no toys...perhaps I should invest LOL

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:13 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • Masturbation, sex toys.

    My DH was in Iraq for 15 month, and didn't get to come home for his 2 week leave.


    Answer by louise2 at 7:21 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • Wow, that is a long time...other than sex deprivation did you keep yourself busy? Apparently that is how to keep yourself from going crazy... Mine goes away training for a month at at time, and by 2 weeks we are both going nuts. This time was a little easier, but I am starting to struggle with no sex LOL Thats why I asked, what am I gonna do when he deploys for a year?!?! I don't even know when he is able to come home.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:29 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • My husband and I have lived through 6 deployments. He retired in 2002. Keeping busy. Crafts, school, a job whatever. Just don't sit around and cry. As far as the sex goes. Anon:09 hit it right on the head. A great vibe can be a lifesaver. I had kids at home during all of our deployments. There is nothing quite as unnerving as your son waking up up and knocking on your door and saying "Mom whats that buzzing sound" So, handheld shower head with multiple settings can provide relief and privacy at the same time. If kids aren't a concern..the shower head is a good thing.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:06 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • OMG, you have been through alot. Did it bring you closer? Seems like each time he is away the closer our marriage gets, but a year? I keep reading that we will change, he will change alot. I hope its a good change...LOL ok shower head LOL got it. I will try and stay busy. I will go to school with one of the grants the Army offers. I'll look into the crafts, thank you for your input! I greatly appreciate it

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:32 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • You can change during a deployment and not have it effect you relationship in a bad way IF you communicate with one another. "communication ' is a word that gets thrown around a lot. I mean really talking and sharing about what you're thinking and feeling, what your hopes and deams are, how world events impact you. While he is gone not write the car broke down, the dishwasher exploded and the toilet over flowed on the new carpet until you can tell him how it was fixed or what the solution was. I'm not saying keep things from him, but he doesn't need to worry about things he can't change. Now if the house suddenly needs a new roof due to a tornado and you have to find out how to pay to fix it..that's a different story.( I'm just using extreme examples) You CAN do this, and it can make you stronger if you work on it.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:45 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • Right, I heard that alot at the briefings at Yellow RIbbon day. It seems like each time he is away EVERYTHING breaks. I notice when I did say things about the kids, he just doesn't really respond...that will be hard for me, but I know if he is worried about the things I say, he won't be able to focus on his job, which will not be a good thing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:54 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • You wont be able to keep it out of your head and if you try you are more likely to cheat. Sex toys is the best way I know of. You can try and distract your self from time-time. By doing housework, sewing, crafts, and other things of that nature. However you will not be able to completely avoid the impulse. I'm sorry this may not be the answer you are looking for, but when my DH was in basic for 5mnths I tried to avoid it and almost ended up cheating, but stopped before I did any thing. It becomes a need for us just as it is for them. Good Luck I hope this helped at least a little.

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 9:23 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

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