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What's the best way to tell him that I'm not gonna be there for him anymore?

Ok, my husband and i recently split b/c he cheated. to make a long story short when i found out i was preggers w/ our second, he got laid off, we had to move into my grandmothers, he disrespected her, she kicked him out. Me being pregnant w/ a toddler, he told me to stay there since he didn't have a place for us to move and that he'd find one soon. Turns out he actually moved in w/ another female and now she is due w/ his child some time soon. I found this out in April. We've gone back and forth since then w/ him lying about still being w/ her and other things. maybe 4 mos ago he realized that he wanted to be with me but i was over it or so i thought. i still love him so i said if you can prove to me that you want to be a REAL MAN, gain my trust back and provide a stable living situation then I'd be there for him. well, lately his finances are fucked up, he's always broke, he's been living w/ a friend (cont'd)


Asked by Anonymous at 7:40 PM on Oct. 18, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I think you should tell him how you're feeling. You say that he wants you back, witch is true because a wife is the glue that holds life together....that's why his life is a big pile of shit right know. I always remind my husband that if I hadn't gotten on him, and made HIM do the things that he wanted his parents to help him with, he wouldn't be where he is today. You shouldn't have to pick up the peices of the puzzle HE decided to teare apart. It's time to be stronger and put your feeling aside...let him make a life with that other woman. He's a broken you really want to spend the rest of your life trying to fix him....when he might just go nock up another girl again? BE's easyer said then done...but YOU can do what ever you put your mind to.

    Answer by GotToHaveFaith at 8:02 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • (con'td) who now wants him to leave, he still can't afford to get a place of his own, he doesn't give me money for the girls and he owes me money. He always has some excuse why not. I mean he's turned into a fuck up. This is definitely not the man i married. I can't find a job right now, but i still manage to keep my head above water and take care of the girls. Quite frankly, I'm over it and I can do bad by myself. Obviously he's not in any position to support us. I'm finally feeling better about myself, I'm back in school to receive my bachelor's and I just feel like at this moment in his life he'd bring me down. I'm kinda hesitant to tell him to kick rocks b/c he is in a pretty f'd up situation w/ no place to stay, no transportation and what not but I'm tired of being there emotionally for him when I have my own stuff to worry about. Should I tell him that or should I just wait?

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • i would tell him..... good luck to you and you can find someone better then that..

    Answer by firstimemomm603 at 7:47 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • I would just be honest.
    He's in the situation he's in, because he lead himself there. He'd been living with friends and he still couldn't manage to save up just a little bit of money? It just sounds completely ridiculous.
    I agree with PP, you can find someone better than that, and you can also do so much better.
    Good luck.

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 8:00 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • I would tell him, not to be mean but why should you stay down when obviously he hasn't done anything to help himself. you have done what you could. Staying by his side is only going to cause you more pain and put your children in a bad environment. I think personally a kid can deal with a divorce more than a yo-yo situation. Dad is here and now he isn't. Good Luck

    Answer by glf012671 at 8:16 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • Thanks guys, you are so right. It's like I don't want to add something else to the equation to bring him down. He already feels bad b/c he feels like he messed up his life and he can't seem to pick up the pieces. Then he said he was finally happy b/c I finally said that I might give him a second chance and then I don't want to be that one factor that breaks him. KWIM?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:30 PM on Oct. 18, 2009