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we separated today

I asked my husband to leave today. We are a Christian couple that have been having a lot of problems in our marriage. We have separated before also. The thing is he admitted to me that he follows God enough to get what he wants, like a reconciliation with me. Well he has done something illegal and it directly affects me. I asked him to leave today and he did. I need to be strong but I really don't understand why he wont just be the man I need and father the kids need. He admits he doesn't try and said sorry. That's not sorry, not when he knows he is messing up like that. I don't really have a question I just want to talk about it.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:11 PM on Oct. 18, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (11)
  • i'm so sorry that you're going through that. you're not alone. men are such stupid animals and dont know a good thing when they have it. Just pray that God can touch his heart and he can change his ways. Take care and i'm sending you a hug.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • hugs


    I am sorry to hear this. I will keep you on my prayer line.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • "but I really don't understand why he wont just be the man I need and father the kids need. He admits he doesn't try and said sorry."

    No one can become the person you need...they have to be that person already, or they never will be.

    As hard as this is, his admission is a clear indication that he will NEVER be that person; he's not interested in being that person.

    It mayu be difficult, but down the line this will be the best thing for your family.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 9:27 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • I always thought that when you marry you marry the person for who they are, not for who you think the person should be. Hope it works out though. For better or worst, remember.

    sugahmamma

    Answer by sugahmamma at 9:45 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • It saddens me that anyone would say men are stupid animals.. :(

    OP lean into Jesus He can be the helper you need right now . Trust in Him to make all this well in His time!
    Shaneagle777

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 9:51 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • You cannot make someone be the person you need, they have to already be that person. I am sorry that you are going through this difficult time, but you are strong and can get through this.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:56 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • It saddens me that anyone would say men are stupid animals.. :(


    shaneagle777, well, they are. there are some men that are wonderful and they do stupid things. its not a big deal. dont be sad, smile. I love my dh dearly but sometimes, i can get into a male bashing party with my girlfriends, its only in good fun, i would never tell dh or my kids that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • OP here~ The reason i said i dont understand why he wont just be the man i need is because we have been to counseling and we have been working on this for a long long time. Now I am dealing with some past issues in my past, my husband chooses not to be compassionate and understanding. The man I need is one who can love me and be there for me through thick and thin. What he did was illegal and it can cause me to go to jail. So whoever says for better or worse is crazy. I have kids and i have to do what is right for them. He is still saying mean and abusive things and not working on the marriage. He admitted this. So really why live my entire life not getting what I need. I am going to God with this and what happens will be with very much prayer.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:38 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • How could HIM doing something illegal cause you to go to jail?
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 11:10 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • Just so you know, you've heard the fairy tales about the perfect compassionate man who worships you. Please take it with a grain of salt and save yourself years of heartache. 'Tain't true. People brag. People lie. In real life, people are people. We all have faults. Don't be so quick to discard the man you promised to love just because someone said the perfect man is out there. Now, if you are the perfect woman in every way please disregard this advice as you are to busy putting out diamonds.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

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