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5 yr old starting to explore body with her friends that are boys

i was babysitting next door and i went to go check on the kids after my neighbor left to where she was going and i found my daughter out back pulling up her pants and panties. i asked her why her panties were off and istant crying started so i couldnt get through to her so i talked to the 4 yr old boy and he said they were plaing "sexy" and i asked how you play?, can you show me how you play?, was this the first time you played? and who though of the game? it came down to you lay down then the other person gets on top. im not saying my husband and i are completely innocent in this im just wondering if there are any great ways to break through to her so she truely understands...... obviously we are going to talk to her jw if there were any really good ways of doing it and of course im gonna look it up but i just waned to see if any other moms have been through this yet and if they have advice anything is appreciated thank you!!

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wifey000175554

Asked by wifey000175554 at 9:15 PM on Oct. 18, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 15 (1,898 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Sorry, but if that little boy were my child and your daughter did that, I would be calling DCFS. That is totally wrong IMO. It sounds like she may need some counseling and you need to be more responsible as a mother.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:18 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • That is some scary stuff!!! I would worry that either your child or the other child has been exposed to sex in a VERY wrong way.....either innocently walking in on parents or HEAVEN FORBID....has been sexually abused.....

    Call the other childs mother and talk openly....find out why the other boy might have started this game...if you feel anything is suspicious or you get that "funny" feeling call DCFS...

    AND DONT LET HIM COME ANYMORE.....this could traumatize your dd.....!!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:22 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • Anon 9:18, she is trying to handle the situation the best she knows how, that is why she is asking for advice. That doesnt make her irresponsible.

    To answer your question, you need to get to the bottom of what happened and who initiated this "game". If a child has been exposed to sexual things, then they tend to act it out. Please talk to the little boys parents about this and have an open dialog with your daughter about what is appropriate and what is not appropriate. Also let her know that she should tell you what happened and that she wont get in trouble. It sounds like this experience was tramatic for her. Some counseling might be a good idea and please don't let this little boy be alone with your daughter again.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 9:25 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • I definitely agree that you should talk to this little boy's parents. They may not even be aware that he has been exposed to this stuff, and if he was the initiator which it sounds like he was.. they may not realize the extent that their actions have impacted him.
    I would just watch your daughter with him closely. Don't let them play together out or your sight. I doubt he would do anything with you watching, so just to be safe.. if she seems upset by playing with him then put a stop to it. If this was a one time thing then counseling is probably unnecessary but watch her for signs that she is exposed to this type of inappropriate play as it could become necessary. Also, like the others said, make sure to talk to her and tell her that she's not in trouble, that you want her to be able to tell you these things. Talk about what is appropriate and not appropriate, etc..
    Good luck!
    kristal2146

    Answer by kristal2146 at 12:35 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • You have done NOTHING irresponsible as a parent .

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:03 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • I agree with previous posters, you need to figure this out, full on, figure out who initiated the game. if it was your DD, what has she been exposed to? if it was the boy, contact his parents, and have a discussion with them. figure out what it going on, and until you figure it out, DO NOT LET THEM PLAY OUT OF YOUR SIGHT!
    Jordanplustwo

    Answer by Jordanplustwo at 1:39 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

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