Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do I tell him?

I made a huge mistake. I have a bf..we have been together for 2 years, but long distance for over a year now. It seems like there are so many things that are keeping me from moving there with him..or vice versa. But we do love each other. There are so many obstacles though and lately I've been second guessing our relationship. So, I was totally and completely curious and got on eHarmony. I put my s/n on there so they could IM me. i KNOW stupid. Well one match that seemed really cool wanted to communicate. So he ends up Iming me. We are just talking like normal convos. Dating or anything hasnt come up yet. But I need to tell him I have a BF. I know it was wrong of me to get on there. But Im in a predicament. What should I tell him? I dont want him running away! I just want to get to know him as a FRIEND right now.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:21 PM on Oct. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • I think you should cut all ties. You might want him as a friend now, but it sounds like it has potential to escalate. Think about what if your bf who you claim to love was doing the same thing, how would you feel?

    I guess either break ties with your bf, or knock it off with the eharmony. Good luck!

    Answer by prettyrayray at 10:24 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • Come clean with him just as you have done here. It is important to not keep him hoping and assuming there is a future with you if there is not. Be honest. You wouldn't like it if he had a girlfriend already and had just for curiosity put his name up and started talking with you. No matter what happens, you need to be honest. Good luck.

    Answer by Bmat at 10:26 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • You have 2 choices here: Either cut all ties with this online guy that you don't even know or end the relationship with your BF and give this new relationship a try. You cannot keep this online guy as a friend and then stay with your BF. That's wrong. You would be furious if your BF were doing this.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 10:39 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • I think you know what you need to do, you just don't want to do it. The grass is not always greener on the other side, and you cannot have your cake and eat it to. Either commit, or move on. You aren't being fair to anyone in this. Not to your bf, not this eHarmony guy, and not to yourself.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 10:47 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.