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need some advice?

so my husband and i havent had sex in like a month and a 1/2. and sometimes i wonder if he is gay. i know it sounds silly but really. He is a SAHD while i work during the day. and when i get home after dinner. he is home for about an hr and then leaves to get away and try to get some school work done. well that means that is no "fun" time. bc he will get home around 3am. and when he doesnt go out9he goes to a rest. that is open 24 hrs and has WiFi to do his school work.
ok well tonight he got done real early and i had mentioned to him all day that it would be nice to just spend some time together once the little one goes to bed.(aroound 9) well he had said he was gonna go get a movie and we can spend time with eachother. well he had talked about what movie to watch. then like 15 min later. he says hes gonna go to bed... to bed!!! im thinking WTH. so i went in there and told him how i felt. i told him it hurt my feelings.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:55 PM on Oct. 18, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (12)
  • Well what did he say???
    stepmom929

    Answer by stepmom929 at 11:59 PM on Oct. 18, 2009

  • cont.
    well all he did was make a grunt. so i got so upset i just said well this is why our marriage isnt what it use to be now is it.. and walked out.
    He sits at home with our daughter. while i work. which i dont make enough. which stresses me out and then i come home and nothhing really isnt done around the house. and once he leaves im left with getting my daughter to bed. and then i dont see him until the morning. i dont know anymore it upsets me alot that we dont have any time to ourselves. and when we do he makes so many excuses up.;
    im sure im not the only one that is going thru this but really. i always wonder if hes gay bc we dont kiss. we dont have any affection going on. we dont hold hands.. UGH i dont know!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • Could it be he's seeing another woman? What you described doesn't mean he's necessarily gay. Plus he's at home all day, I did that before and it drove me nuts!
    prettyrayray

    Answer by prettyrayray at 12:03 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • What did he say?
    navajomama7

    Answer by navajomama7 at 12:06 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • you haven't given anything concrete enough to say he's gay. most bi-sexuals or males that are married but enjoy same sex intimacey tend to leave clues. for instence your accused of sexing everyone around you male or female, they look at same sex porn, go online gay sites, enjoy anal stimulation, ect. he could just be unhappy with being a sahd and you being the bread winner right now, he could be going through his mid-life crisis. don't put his intimacy issues on you, instead try to get him to open up by asking him or letting him know if there's anything he needs or wants to talk about you're ready to listen with an open mind. but put the sho on the other foot; what if you were sahm, hubby works and when he gets home your ready for your break or your you time, it's nothng against him or the kids but you just need to get away for a bit; the same apply's to sahd's! try lingre, or anything that entices him, and go from there.
    ladyd6280

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 12:07 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • For me the issue would be him leaving every day and staying gone all night. That sounds like a major red flag. I assume you have internet at home so why does he have to go somewhere else to do his school work? I wouldn't automatically think he's gay, but something's up. maybe an affair? Are you positive he is where he says he is?
    Leslie2164

    Answer by Leslie2164 at 12:12 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • I dont want to sound like i dont know whats going on as in him seeing another women. But he's NOT. And yes i understand he IS at home all day and i know that he needs his time. but really we NEVER get time to ourself and it hurts me. bc we dont have what we did when we got married. and he is always making excuses up. i know that he may be stressed but he did have all day to do whatever. but he chose football. typical male lol . but i had mentioned alld ay that i wanted to spend time with him. and when i want to talk to him about things like this. he always says its my fault. bc i dont pull the first move. im like WHAAAAA. he isnt home for me to even pull a move. thats my problem.
    ok i dont want to be a whinny baby about so i wont keep this going to far. i just dont know what to do anymore.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • I understand he needs his own time as a SAHM I need a break badly. Some times I don't want to spend time with my DH do to frustration but never for that long. I know it sucks to think about but it sounds like he feels under appreciated and might be cheating Good luck Sorry
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 12:39 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • Are you sure he is not cheating on you, if he comes home so late, don't show you any affection why don't you just ask him what is going on with him?
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 12:42 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • I would sit him down and ask him what his problem is and express your feelings ,

    LexsiesMommy

    Answer by LexsiesMommy at 12:46 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

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