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Do your or your dh ever feel like they are supporting two families? :( Child Support

For those of you that are married to men that had a past life (marriage, kids) Does he ever tell you he feels like he is supporting two families even though he is a very good dad. I guess he is just wanting to vent...lol

This is a sucky feeling :(

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:35 AM on Oct. 19, 2009 in Money & Work

Answers (12)
  • I understand what you're saying, but he is supporting two families. I'm not suggesting that he shouldn't have gotten divorced or remarried, but the second family doesn't cancel out his responsibilities to first one. Just like if you aren't divorced and choose to have a second kid, you are still responsible for supporting the first one, even though now you have twice as many child care expenses.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • i know excatly what ur saying the judge dont give a damn that he hardly cant pay his bills here at home and paying all that money too another child when my kids have do without somethings or dont get the best of everything ..
    ashley_nick30

    Answer by ashley_nick30 at 10:02 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • Thats what happens when you chose to get involved with a man with children, It sucks.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • Um Yeah... that's the way it should be Honey...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • Greedy gold digging women who force men to pay for their decision to have children is not right.    Especially the one's out of wed lock. Bunch of women who are looser.   

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • No. My husband realizes what we send in child support does not come close to covering all of her expenses and bills. My husband never complains and told me when we married he had an ex wife that he was friends with and 4 children. If I was going to be with him I could not complain about the child support and the fact he helped her with various things. I told him the fact he was so involved and didn't whine about child support was one of the reasons I loved him so much. We pay 3k a month in support. My husband makes 15k a month take home so we send more most months. He wants his kids to live as well as we do and makes sure mom is taken care of so they are too.

    My brother makes much less and his current wife just left him because he would not have a child with her. They were stretched paying support for his three kids and said he would not short those kids by having more. He is a good man too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • So many men complain about child support, and they are selfish. It takes far more to raise (their child), than what child support covers. I have to keep track of what i pay out for our son, and it's more than what my ex pays for support, by far. Of coarse, my ex thinks he's a "good dad" b/c he pays his support on time. I'm the one who has to take off work for our son being ill, appointments, school events, and so on. I'm the one paying for all the extracuricular events that our son wants to do. I do all this without a single complaint, b/c i love my son and want what's best for him. But when my ex complains that he has other kids now to support, that makes me smile that he's my ex! It's not my fault that he got his gf knocked up, but he still has the responsibility of the son from his marriage.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • anon at 10:50, you have a good man. Maybe his marriage didn't work, but he is obviously responsible and his behavior is upstanding. These are few and far between unfortunately.

    anon at 10:43...It takes TWO people to get pregnant ya know? These men are not victims.

    My husband, for example, wanted to have kids (we had to do fertility, so it's not like he didn't know), then he decided (after i was pg), he wanted to be single and party (and cheat), so now he's my ex. But he still has the responsibility to care for his child, even if he doesn't want to be a dad.
    citymama707

    Answer by citymama707 at 10:59 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • "I understand what you're saying, but he is supporting two families. I'm not suggesting that he shouldn't have gotten divorced or remarried, but the second family doesn't cancel out his responsibilities to first one. Just like if you aren't divorced and choose to have a second kid, you are still responsible for supporting the first one, even though now you have twice as many child care expenses."

    Excellent answer - exactly what I was thinking!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 11:16 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • the only thing that ticks my hubby off is when his dd doesn't have what she needs when he ex has 4 incomes, hers, her new hubby and her 2 other ex hubbys.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

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