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Single Parents: When a child doesnt like you new companion....

We all say that we want to do whats best for our children. I met this guy who is amazing. I really care about him. Hes a great match for me, but my almost 3 year old acts out when he is around. Any other time, she is well behaved. Same with my 1 year old. He cries unless my boyfriend comes through the door with a peace offering. I dont think I should have to live a lonely life just because my kids father left us. So if you were in my situation, what would you do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on Oct. 19, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Make sure he is more like a friend than a dad. that would probably help out a lot. They will probably need some time to understand what's happening, if I were you I would take it slowly.
    Rachel24517

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 11:11 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • Give them time. They're not aware of what it means that you've found a new guy. Don't push them to accept them - they will in their own time.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 10:52 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • *****Weve been dating for 6 months and its still like this. He is great with them, its almost like a jealousy thing. ******
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • I chose to be a single mom and not date. I wasn't lonely and I was happy.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 11:00 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • She prob considers him as a threat. maybe talk to her... and let them spend time together. IT can be hard for kiddos.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • I would cut back the time you spend with your bf and spend it with your kids instead. I couldn't in good conscience be with a guy that my kids didn't like. My daughter and I ate lunch one time with a male friend who could have in time become more (it wasn't planned, we ran into him), but my daughter didn't like him so I chose not to go out with him anymore (we had gone out several times). I still know this guy, he's incredibly nice, has a wonderful job and has gone on to marry someone else. I also am now married to someone else that my daughter, and sons, really like and have since meeting him. Kids sometimes have really good instincts - I never would have met my dh if I had ignored my daughter's feeling about the first guy.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 11:12 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • It sounds to me like you might have brought him around too soon. You say you've been dating 6 months and it's still this way. For me, I don't introduce my kids to a man I am dating unless we have been dating AT LEAST 6 months. I would back off trying to get them all to like each other, spend more time with your kids, and keep your dating life and home life separate. After you've been dating longer, perhaps try again to reintroduce him to your kids, and see if they take it better. It also just takes time for kids to adjust to sharing mom with a new person, and it's entirely possible they see him as a threat to their relationship with you, thinking that he is going to take you away from them.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:29 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • It would depend on why, and six months isn't really all that long for kids to adjust to a new partner. I agree with other moms to give them time to adjust, and to present him as a friend of the family not new dad material.

    My oldest son has had friction with every man I ever dated, and I didn't feel like I had to be single and lonely for the rest of my life because he wanted to be the man of the household. I've been happily remarried for 2 years now to a great man who is very understanding about my son's needs in adjusting to a stepparent, and it has been good for him to have a stable father figure and male role model even though it hasn't always been smooth.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 11:31 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • I wished I had listened to my kids. I was with someone I thought was wonderful after my husband died. My kids hated him and would cry when he was around. I thought they were jealous or just being bratty. We married and moved in together and one day I came home early from work and found him raping my 7 year old. I should have listened to my kids they knew he was bad they could sense it. I would never put a man over a child. I have been single since making it up to my children for what that ass put them through. I have not been lonely and my life is very full. If I do meet someone someday they like and I like that might change for now I choose to put them first and my libido second.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 AM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • ***********OMG!!! That must have been awful!!! I am so sorry!!!!*********
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

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