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The only way to get my son to eat in the evening is to scare him

into it by telling him he has a choice to make...eat,, or go to bed without the TV on and no lights.
Typically he watches a little TV while he's in bed then goes to sleep (bad habit I know that)...After my son starts to eat DH tells me I shouldn't scare him (our 5 yr old) like that and should just make some french toast. I AM NOT COOKING TWICE FOR ONE MEAL.
My husband does not intervene when it comes to my son acting up. He leaves everything to me then afterwords judges my choices rather then be apart of them. It's like I'm a single parent and he just watches and throws his opinion at me afterwords.
So is it so wrong to tell my son, "If you don't eat you can just go to bed now w/out TV"

 
wheresthewayout

Asked by wheresthewayout at 2:38 PM on Oct. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 29 (39,885 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • Don't associate food with fear; this can lead to an eating disorder (boys can get them, too). Don't associate bed with punishment; this can lead to sleep issues.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 3:52 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • I don't think that is out of line at all. If it makes him eat then that what I would do. And I do not recommend cooking twice for one meal. I will make them a PBJ sandwich if I make something I know they really really don't like but other than that no way! And shame on your husband for not helping you out. I would have a conversation with him about it and maybe you can work something out. Just let him know your feelings and maybe he will see your side of things. Good Luck Girl!

    Frogbaby83

    Answer by Frogbaby83 at 2:48 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • I don't think it's wrong for you to say that to him. There may be other ways to approach it though with him that will make him be more cooperative and so you don't feel like you're fighting with him all the time (I know how it is I've been there!). Somebody suggested to me to do a rewards chart with my 5 year old to help with various behaviors of his and issues we were having and it's worked great. Maybe try that with your son, like if he eats without a problem for so many nights in a row he'll get a special treat or get to stay up a little later to watch a movie or whatever you think will do the trick for him. If you do a google search for free behavior charts for kids you'll come up with a bunch of really cute ones (we're doing a ladybug where my son colors the spots in right now) and you can get some good ideas. (and I agree with talking to your hubby about how you feel)
    whittear

    Answer by whittear at 2:52 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • I would love to be able to talk to my husband but he feels that since he is alot older that this makes him smarter. I'm on my 4th kid the 1st 3 I raised on my own..So with this and his closed mind we are far from the same page, heck we aren't even in the same book!
    There is no talking to him. closed minded defensive men are the worst to deal with when it comes to working out problems.
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 2:58 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • I don't punish my son for not eating dinner, but he still has to sit at the table with us. My son usually doesn't eat dinner at least 3 times a week....

    I don't give punishment because IMO it teaches kids to eat even when they are not hungry.
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 3:05 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • No you are not wrong. Your son ends up eating right? So it's not like he is going hungry. even if you stuck to your word and he went to bed without supper, there would be no harm in that. Then he would know that you are serious and he wouldn't test his boundries anymore. Tell your husband if he knows of any effective ways to get your son to eat without threatening him, feel free to share them! Instead of letting you handle the discipline then criticizing you for it later.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • Don't fight with him about it. If he is hungry, he will eat. I DO NOT cook twice for my kids, with VERY few exceptions. My dd hates chili, so when we have that as a family, I will just make her a plain hamburger (since that is an ingredient and I already have it) or a sandwich. However, if it became a habit, I would not tell them they had to go to bed. I would just say this is for dinner. If you do not eat it, then you don't get anything until breakfast. NO SNACKS!! Fighting over food is probably one of the biggest control issues between parents and their children, but it doesn't have to be. Don't get stressed and don't debate. This is dinner. Take it or leave it. Or if you feel bad about making him wait until breakfast, you could tell him eat it now or eat it for a snack, but that is what is to eat. He will come around once it isn't a control issue anymore. It is never good to make a kid eat when not hungry. Bad habit.
    mama2000_1

    Answer by mama2000_1 at 3:17 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • My mom does that all the time. Still doesnt stop my 7yr old sister from not eating. She's hungry, she just refuses to eat almost anything that isn't junk foor.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • I think it is horrible!

    You are setting your son up for all kind of psychological problems concerned with eating. Mealtime should be pleasant. He can even get IBS, ulcers, or other digestive problems. I did from my witch of a mother doing similar things to me.

    When you make something you know he likes you can make extra and save it. If he doesn't like what you have for dinner then you can offer him something else. If he is of normal weight or over then you don't have to worry too much. If your child is underweight you may have to take 10 minutes of your precious time and make him something to eat. You can keep easy healthy things around.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 3:21 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • My son is hungry he just wants wants to hold out for the junk food his dad will sneak him later
    MY husband feels bad and will give our son crap, because it's better then nothing he says.
    My son is very skinny and I have been told to feed him a high fat diet to get him to gain weight. He just won't eat....unless I get FIRM
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 3:27 PM on Oct. 19, 2009