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custody question

my and my daughters father are almost divorced. all he has to do is sign the papers. well like a year ago we made the parenting plan and it says that when she is 7 he can take her back to north carolina with him. now that its time to finalized everything he is talking about seeing a lawyer to get the parenting plan changed. i think it is mother making a big deal about it because a year ago he didnt care. he has not seen my daughter in a year and told me he doesnt care about her. he does not have a job and has never paid child support. does he have any chance of getting it changed to take my daughter to nc any younger? please give me any advise anyone that has gone through this

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lmaines22

Asked by lmaines22 at 4:52 PM on Oct. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (6)
  • May I ask why he can take her to another state? I would make him stick around and share custody or he can go by himself. i would talk to your lawyer about how to go back to court and change a few things. He doesnt deserve her and you dont need to worry about this. Get some legal advice and go from there. GL
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 4:57 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • it depends on the judge!!! if he or she is all about giving dd rights then you have a hell of a fight to go through! i live in ny, dd was abusive in every way, went to shelters 3 times because of this, had numerous orders of protection, but because judge was for dd having rights he got joint custody!!! mind you he does nothing for our 3 together, and considers staying with or keeping them "babysitting"!
    ladyd6280

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 4:58 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • When she is 7 he can take her to NC to live with him and you don't get to see her? That doesn't make any sense. Do you mean he can take her for weekend visitation?

    A lot depends on where your divorce is granted. Each state has their own laws. You can't be sure what the courts will do. If he does start wanting to see her it may be best for her if you move close to wherever he lives.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 4:59 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • when she is 7 she can go back there for 3 weeks in the summer. i live in washington.
    lmaines22

    Answer by lmaines22 at 5:03 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • first of all every state has different laws....i live in oregon which is a mothers rights state, that means that as long as there is nothing to put the kid in danger they will keep them with the mother. i dont know about washington. but here my daughters father could not get custody. i dont understand why, if he hasnt seen her in a year and says he doesnt care, the judge should side with you.
    cassie_m

    Answer by cassie_m at 5:10 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • You need to get an attorney, every state has different laws. Don't assume the judge will side with you just because the father hasn't seen your daughter in a year and he says he doesn't want too. My son's father did that, he asked to have his parental rights terminated but when it came time for the court hearing, he made a big deal out of how he wanted a relationship with his son and I haven't let him. Which was not true. He chose to stay away. It is now 8 years later, and he still has yet to start a relationship with my son. He hasn't seen him more than 3 times in the last 8 years. NEVER ASSUME ANYTHING when it comes to custody, child support and the court system.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 6:47 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

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