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When to support your kid and when to make them stand on their own?

My son had to turn in his football gear today at school since the season is over. Another kid took a bag that was in my son's locker saying it was his. Now my son can't be released from football to attend basketball practice because he didn't turn in all his "stuff". We have no proof the bag actually belonged to my son, but both my son and I believe it was the one assigned to him based on the number that was on the bag.

I never know when to call the school and defend my son or just let him deal with the consequences. What do other moms think?

Answer Question

Asked by Dyndudes at 4:57 PM on Oct. 19, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 11 (626 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • He should be able to talk it over with his coach and get to the bottom of it. If he is still not released then I would step in.
    This has happened so many times with my kids. I have learned to let them handle as much as possible and you will know when to help.

    Answer by JLynn0871 at 5:00 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • If your son doesn't say something you should unless he asks you not too.

    Answer by ZachsMom325 at 5:01 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • Why wasn't everything numbered so that the coach could tell who's things were who's?? (like books) I'd say Coach's error!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:03 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • that one's tuff! i say this because it raises a question or more: how did the boy get into his locker, where was he when this happened, and why didn't he involve school personal!?

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 5:06 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • Anon 4:03.........

    Now that is what a mother would have done, not a male football coach.......LOL!

    Answer by Dyndudes at 5:08 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • They were all in the locker room. My son does not have a padlock on his locker because he has ADD and is so afraid of not remembering the combination he won't use it. My son is also not one to start trouble so he didn't go running to the coach. He said it is his word against the other kid's word that the bag belongs to him.

    Answer by Dyndudes at 5:12 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • You need to step in on this one. Go in together and help your son talk to the coach or principal. He also need to make sure he keeps a lock on his locker in the future. I am sure the coach has a list of numbers and players so he would know that the bag didn't belong to the kid that turned it in.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 6:28 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • I forgot to add, my son has ADD and has no problem remembering his locker combonations, both for his main locker and gym locker that he uses for 2 quarters out of 4. Your son just needs to practice his combo and the school office or coach will give him the combo if he forgets it. He has learned a valuable lesson about keeping a locker locked.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 6:30 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • Step in. This is something that needs a bit of parental involvement.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • On this I would say to step in, basketball is here and now and he needs to get started or get left behind. And you don't want that, just give the coach a heads up and your son give an account of what happened. Chances are the kid has been a problem all season and the coach will likely believe your boy.

    Answer by jewjewbee at 10:21 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

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