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Left over Embryos

My husband and I did an IVF cycle and recently had twins. We also have two older daughters. Our family is now complete but we have 7 frozen embyos. I am struggling with what I should do with them. We don't really have the money to pay the cryostorage bill for another year. Adoption is an option but I would want to chose who they go to, however I do not think I would want to know if they made babies. My heart would ache for them. I am so confused anyone else been through this or know someone that has. I need advice.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:14 PM on Oct. 19, 2009 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • You can look into snowflakes.org. You may even be able to choose the couple. They have the couples go through a homestudy similar to what we go through to adopt. We looked into building our family this way before we adopted our two kids. I am impressed that you responded so well to the medications - nine embryos! I didn't do so well. We had three that fertilized, one arrested early, two were implanted, and it was unsuccessful. I read that most couples who choose to donate the embryos to another couple do not want continuing contact, but if you did want that, you could probably find a couple who was willing. Best wishes, and congratulations on your twins!
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 7:59 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • I saw something like this on "Primetime" or one of those shows. I remember that they reported that most couples are attached to the embryos and keep paying the storage costs because they cant make a decision. I dont know any answers but I just wanted to let you know that there are others feeling the same way as you, so I hoped this helped in a small way.
    3gigglemonsters

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 6:19 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • I don't think you can choose where they go once you donate them because of medical privacy laws.

    Some people donate to science. Some religious groups will implant embryos.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:22 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • We have paid the storage cost for 4-1/2 years now. We went through 3 failed IVF cycles and I didn't want to try anymore because I hated the idea of "killing" the ones that we tried. We have a 3-1/2 year old through adoption. I'm not really sure when we will use them...if we ever do. We don't see ever giving them up, but we hate spending the money to keep them stored...yet it would be quite a bit more expensive to go through IVF again........

    We just don't know...
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 6:57 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • What a struggle! I don't have any advice but I just wanted you to know that I can see what a heartache it must be to be faced with this dilema.

    Did they give any advice on how others have dealt with this? Who you went through for IVF?
    PortAngeles1969

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 7:46 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • i hope you wouldn't ache for them, i'm sure you'd pick an outstanding couple and they'd raise THEIR outstanding child. it'd be your egg, but their love for the child. just saying, genes don't make them parents.
    angevil53

    Answer by angevil53 at 9:41 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • I may only be a pre-nursing student but genes do make her the mother of those potential babies. Without her those embryos would never have existed.
    miriamz

    Answer by miriamz at 9:44 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • How could she not ache for them? They are a part of her and always will be in a way.
    miriamz

    Answer by miriamz at 9:52 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • I agree, Miriamz. They are more than "just" eggs - they are little lives, and they are her and her husband. I didn't have any embryos left to cryopreserve, so we never had to face this decision. I'm sure I would have always wondered whether they made it and were born, and how they were doing.
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 12:02 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • The only bad thing about donating the embryos would be if at some point you did decide ivf again , then they wouldn't be there for you to use.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:40 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

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