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She gave her children up...does she have any right to comment on MY parenting??

I'm part of a support group (that has nothing to do with children) and there is a new women who gave up her three children when they were around 6-9 years old. I was beginning to talk about starting my daughter on solid foods and reading books to her in hopes that she'll LOVE to read when she gets older and this women had the nerve to BUTT in and start telling me that reading books to her at such a young age won't make a difference. I don't even want to hear anything from this women because I personally look down on her. I know her situation and she was just sick of her kids so gave them up..it's not like there was any other problems. Am I wrong to not want to listen to her? She talks about her kids like they were TAKEN from her when it reality she straight up GAVE them away because she was tired of dealing with them.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:05 PM on Oct. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (31)
  • you'll soon notice everyone has an opinion on something..does she have a right to say it? i guess..do you have a right to ignore her? a big fat YES! just let it fly off your back, hon. pay her no mind, and read to your baby. i've read to mine since he was about 5-6 months old...at 4 1/2, he loves books, and is trying to 'read' them. KUDOS to you!
    thehairnazi

    Answer by thehairnazi at 8:09 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • Oh--- man, I wouldn't listen to her. One of the best tidbits of advise I ever got was "Don't shop for kiwis in a shoe store." Strange sounding, I know. In your situation it would mean asking parents who's children love to read- or parents in families you admire- for parenting advice. Its about going to the people who have what you want instead of taking (for example) money advice from the broke. She seems to have failed motherhood miserably from your discription and I would not listen to a word she had to say.
    Best of luck!
    IrishMommaC

    Answer by IrishMommaC at 8:10 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • id ignore her. She prob feels like she deserves a say since her kids arent around. It sounds like shes upset that shes not in her kids life and couldnt give them what you can give your own. Id ignore it and if yuo dont like what she says then confront her. Just tell tell her that though you respect her input, you will ask for her opinion when you want it. You are doing all the right things and someone like that doesnt need to make you feel crappy. she herself is feeling crappy inside and you are just her current victim
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 8:11 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • GAVE UP HER 6-9 YEAR OLDS??? WTF. How the hell could you do that? She absolutely does NOT have any right to give you parenting tips!!! AAH!
    stepmom929

    Answer by stepmom929 at 8:12 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • Keep in mind that she is in therapy for a reason. She seems like your typical bully. someone who can express their feelings other than being rude or hurtful. She is jealous and you are better than that. Just smile and move on to the next topic in your group
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 8:13 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • its so easy to judge when you've never been there. i'm not sticking up for this woman, all i'm saying its easier to judge than it is to try and relate or see where someone might be comming from. it's closed minded in a sense, only because what she said was wrong and you had negative feelings toward her anyways so you shoed her off. maybe she was an awful mom that turned her back on responsibilities, but think if you were a mom egineered as a dad wld have been, sick of being tied down, tired of responsibility for someone elses life and felt the only answer is to bolt. not all woman have that atomatic caring and loving gene for her kids, instead some have the manly abandoning gene! no good moms don't want advice from moms who don't know how to be one, but that doesn't mean we have to be cruel to them for being manish!
    ladyd6280

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 8:16 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • Don't listen to her advice. She obviously couldn't handle parenthood, otherwise she wouldn't have given her kids up.
    mancosmomma

    Answer by mancosmomma at 8:21 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • No, she doesn't really have any right to speak to you about child-rearing.

    But reading now won't necessarily mean your baby will have a love of reading later.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • Ladyd 8:16- I would have responded the same way about a father who just gave up on his children. I would assume most of our reactions have nothing to do with gender.
    IrishMommaC

    Answer by IrishMommaC at 8:27 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • So who the F#$% decides who has the right to tell anyone anything. You aren't any better judging her situation. Maybe you should listen to her. Maybe she has regrets. You can't say she doesn't grieve for her children and miss them. Why the hell are you in a group with people like this? Obviously you aren't in a support group because you have all your chickens in a basket. Why don't you take care of your own issues and let her do what she's gonna do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:52 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

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