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Is it wrong that my fiance and I got engaged so soon after we met?

My faince and I where together for only 3 months before he asked me to marry him. I believe he is the one that I was meant to be with. Am I in the wrong for wanting to get married when he gets back from Iraq in January?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:19 PM on Oct. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • I'm a big believer that when its right its right and you just know. I would wait a little after he gets back though--- just because there is often alot to work through when someone comes back from any military related thing. Make sure he has some time to re-center himself before adding another big life change in.
    IrishMommaC

    Answer by IrishMommaC at 8:22 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • My husband and I have been married for 7 years. We were engaged in 2 weeks, I moved in with him at 2 months and we were married at 3 1/2 months. We are by far one of the happiest couples I know. If you feel that you are ready, then go for it. We had so many people tell us it wouldn't last and now those same people tell us how wonderful my husband and I are together.
    FL2AK

    Answer by FL2AK at 8:22 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • We dated for 6 months and were engaged for 3! I say long engagements aren't worth it!!
    micheledo

    Answer by micheledo at 8:27 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • Heck no my hubby and I started dating the end of August 1995 by Valentines Day we got married on TV!!! We are still together to this day 13 years, just remember it's something you both have to work at not just one or the other!

    Good luck!

    ~Linda
    Lindles

    Answer by Lindles at 8:29 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • Okay I'm gonna be the downer, my friend did this, her man was military too. She thought it just "felt" right. They were married 3 mos later and he was back in Iraq. He turned out to be her worst friggin nightmare. She says if she knew the man she knows now it wouldn't have happened. If it's right it will still be right if you wait too. What's the worst thing that would happen if you held out awhile? We get so stuck on so called "feelings" and tend to let go of common sense sometimes. And guess what, I got married after knowing someone for a year, and we are not the same people that we thought each other was. We have questioned it, we are just lucky, not typical for people who rush in. Make sure you are not in love with the idea of being in love. Give it time to see if your feelings change, if they don't go for it. I don't want you to remember my post 5 years down the road when your marriage fails
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:29 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • 3 months is not a long time but for some people it works for them and makes sense. If you really think he is the one than why rush into marriage. Take some time and get to know him more. A friend of mine swear this guy was the one, long story short he took advantage of her and ended up giving her a lifetime present that no one wants and stopped all communication with her. My point is take some more time and get to know him more because there could be things you don't know about him that makes you wonder can I live with this person forever, can I deal with all his weird habits. My question for you is why do you want to marry him in January?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:30 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • Oh dear. Let me tell you my story, then you'll figure out my answer.
    I met Eddie while he was in iraq. in 2006-2007.
    We "met online" April 1st 2007.
    We talked online and phone cards until he came home.
    October 5th, he came home. And we met for first time.
    I never went back "home".. we couldn't leave each other's side.
    December 23rd 2007, he asked me to marry him (basically 2 1/2 months after "meeting" him in person.)
    Feb 20th 2008 we found out we were pregnant
    April 16, 2008 we got married :)
    And we never left each other's side since he came home in oct, we moved in together bascially, we had to camp until our apt was ready, which is tons of great memories.
    And now we've been married over a year, our daugher is a year old, and i'm the happiest woman alive. I wouldn't change how quickly we went.
    I beleive, when you know, YOU KNOW.

    Good luck hun. If you wanna talk, just email me.
    ramzmomma

    Answer by ramzmomma at 8:34 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • cont: I'm just saying, sometimes impulsive decisions make huge messes that we can't undo. I have many regrets myself for rushing into things. Love doesn't change over time, so why not wait and make sure it really is love and not exciting feelings that will wear off. Me and my hubby jumped in and we payed a lot of consequences, we love each other dearly. BUT we busted our asses to make it work. How does your family feel about it? Make sure you go to a marriage counselor Before you get married. Make a plan if you must rush in. Where you will live, your goals, children, dreams, hopes, and money, make sure these things are in order. I wish I did and so did my dear friend who is now divorced and still in a nasty custody battle with her ex because he is controlling. I'm not saying it won't work. Just make sure it will!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:34 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • Sorry ramzmomma but you haven't been married long enough to know anything. Everything happened for you so fast you are still on the high part of your situation. Let's see where you are in 7 years and if you have any regrets. I wouldn't be encouraging someone you don't even know to make such a rash decision when you haven't even had time to see what will happen in your own. I saw couples that were madly in love and thought they'd last forever divorce once it didn't feel good anymore....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:39 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • My husband and I met over the phone in May, in person in June and were married in August. We've been married 5 years and are very happy. We knew more about each other than a lot of couples do in years. I knew right off the bat that it was right and he was the one.

    I was also careful, though, I didn't go all on my feelings. I made sure all the key things were there... he was close with his family, loves his mama but the apron strings are definitely cut. He's independent, knows how to cook and clean, and he was willing to TALK to me, and talk everything out with me.

    So no I don't think it's weird. Just slow down enough to make sure it's not all on feelings.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:40 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

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