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I think its gone too far Kinda long

My daughter is 2 she talks non stop and is in the stage of NO NO NO, pretending she dosent hear you and just normal 2 year old stuff. I believe in spanking your child I personaly use as a last resort I make her sit in the hallway for 5 min and sometimes she asks me to spank her just to get her punishment over with. ( i dont she sits for 5 min or less) The other day she was doing this around bedtime I heard my SO tell her do that agian and I will spank you, I quess she did and he spanked her with the spoon (we were told not to use our hands by everyone) He came out frustrated and she didnt stop crying he said if she dosent stop crying Ill spank her agian (her baby brother was sleeping) so I went in her room she kept saying I sorry mommy I sorry I told her its ok but you have to listen then she said It burns It burns i thought it was the rash she had so I asked her do your pants need to be changed and she didnt answer (cont)

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:55 PM on Oct. 19, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I think it's too much and you know it is. Your instincts are screaming at you. He may be so frustrated and enraged by her that he just goes to town w/o really thinking. Either way, it's unacceptable and I also have spanked from time to time. Clearly, spanking isn't effective for her and I know how hard it is. You really should consider The Happiest Toddler on the Block. This frustration is usually an inability to communicate on her part and so she acts out. Your job is to really try and help her express her feelings or tell her, "I understand, you are mad! Mad, Mad, Mad." This tells her she's communicating and you're understanding. Also, my kid was awful at 2 and I was so desperate I watched SuperNanny for help. Often, her advice worked without having to spank. Good luck though, it's so hard.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:14 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • ont....So I got her a change of pants and lifted up her night gown she had a huge welt from where he had spanked her I WAS SO PISSSSSED OFF i went and asked him what did you spank her with he replied with the wooden spoon (mixing spoon) I told him get your ass up and look at this he freaked out and said I didnt mean to spank her that hard he started crying etc. Well its a week later Ive just watched him like a hawk so tonight he spanked her agian for not listening And agian she had welts and his handprint I YELLED AT HIM I SAID SHES 2 SHES A BABY LOOK AT THIS. HE JUST REPLIED WELL I JUST WONT TOUCH HER AT ALL. I dont know what is going on he just seems to be on her butt about everything... What should I do I will not allow my child to have one more welt from anyone I was abused and I dont want my kids to be in this situation, Is this abuse or is this just not knowing your limits/strength?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • It could be either really. I would tell him that he can put her in time out, but that's it (for now atleast). Then it will give him a few minutes to cool off while she's sitting there. At least that way he won't act out of anger. Maybe once he sees that other forms of punishment usually work he will chill on the spanking.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • I believe this is abuse and he is just putting the tears on to make you think that he didn't mean to do it that hard. They know their own force and she does not need to be spanked that hard. Sometime just ignoring her when she's having these tantrums would be the best thing to do because then she's not getting the attention. Give her other attention, read books or sing lullabyes to her. I also believe in spanking but only as a last resort and never that hard, more to just hurt the feelings not physically hurt the child. I feel so sad for your daughter and i'd be careful if you leave him alone with the kids. That is uncalled for, whack him with the wooden spoon and see how he feels!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:06 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • Love the last answer I will do that!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • im disgusted by this post. i cant believe he left welts on her. both of you should be ashamed. it IS abuse.
    naturepeace

    Answer by naturepeace at 11:10 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • I think once you LET your temper get the best of you, its easier the next time to let it go a little further. and the next time a little further and now, he's letting himself be ok with the fact he's hurting her - spanking as a form of punishment should never leave WELTS... Not EVER! It is supposed to be a "scare tactic" not to be over used either or it becomes 100% not effective..at this point, yes, this is abuse if either one of you are leaving welts on a 2 year old child. My son will be 2 in 2 weeks and he's been FAR from easy,it doesn't make it OK for me to hit him either...
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:11 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • Why should I carry the shame of something I wasnt there to prevent, nor did I do Im asking for advice because maybe you have been in this situation before But I HAVENT if I have to leave his ass I WILL, My kids come first , You should be ashamed for being so judgemental.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:19 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

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