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I can't, I'm trying but I dont know what to do. Its recent my DH cheated on me last week and I'm 8 months pregnant. I didnt go crazy or have a big reaction, but deep down Im BROKEN, HURT and I feel BETRAYED.

He asked for forgiveness, we have talked and he is trying, but deep down I feel it all died. I love him that I know, but why STAY ?? He left work and asked for medical leave and has gotten a phyc. and family therapy, he is getting STD tested 2morrow. I know he is trying, but Im still hurt I wonder if Im doing right stayng or should I leave. I usually get leave, dump his ass or what ever, but everyone is telling me to stay and try. Its his first time cheating so I think.
He also gave me passwords to his all so I can check and feel safe. I still get mad it's recent but I get more mad when I see him text STUPID friend he was with that night. or when his phone rings. I think how the Bitch was over him and Im back to mad. I think she can come around and this will happen again dk .

Hope I made sense ?? I try to make sense to myself and I feel lost

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on Oct. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I, personally, would leave his sorry ass. Why would you stay with a man like that, that can't even be faithful while you are carrying his child? Don't think he won't do it again. If he can cheat on you in this condition, it will happen again Hon. Once a cheater, always a cheater, it's been proven over and over again. You need to get rid of him and make it on your own with that kid. You don't need that crap.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:38 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • my mother always told me if a man cheats he aint shit.its not like he cant get it from you.what if he would of gotten an std from the bitch then what ? thats so disrespectful.i know some pople who have worked that shit out but shit is never the same.thats always in the back of there mind and if temptation comes to the cheater or cheat-e then the cheat-e will sometimes be like well this is payback.or sometimes the cheater will say wells he 4gave me once.he shouldve thought with his head and not his dick.he didnt consider your feelings and wasnt sorry when he was doin it.thats my opinion though you have too follow your gut.not your heart because your heart wants you to stay and not your mind cuz your mind wants you to go.you have to follow your gut intuition.good luck.and you defenitely deserve better.dont stress too much either for your little one.
    Desi2Sweet

    Answer by Desi2Sweet at 11:49 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • Honestly, I think you should stay for now. Do something fun together. Try to connect with each other again. If it was one time that he cheated, then I think you guys can work through this.
    tigerlily721

    Answer by tigerlily721 at 11:56 PM on Oct. 19, 2009

  • Well, maybe you should go to counseling with him to talk out your feelings and then maybe the counselor can help you build trust again. I mean he is getting help and he regrets it. BUT do not make it easy for him to just come back. Give him a hard time, make him prove that he is again worthy to be your man. You are a queen and should be treated as such and if he can't do it properly then he can step. Do not worry, there is no definite rule that says once a cheater always a cheater, but also forgive and not FORGET! and trick you once shame on him, trick you twice shame on you. If you do decide to give him this chance and he messes it up again, kick him to the curve.
    DaGoodLife

    Answer by DaGoodLife at 12:01 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • I feel for you and I am sorry. This must be the shittiest feeling in the world, however, in some ways I can understand why men and women cheat. I have had the desire lately and I can say 100% that it really does have nothing to do with my husband or how much I'm attracted to him/love him. We could have sex more, that's true, but we have a new baby and we are both very stressed out with work and being parents. It is rough and I can tell that my wandering eye is just a reaction to the stress. I'm looking at is an escape or a little break. I haven't acted on this and I won't, but I can now understand why married people cheat. I used to be one of those "I would never do that! That's despicable!" types of people when it comes to cheating, but now that I"ve experienced married and family life stress, I can understand it. I am very sure that this has nothing to do with how he feels for you. He is probably stressed out and
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • thought that cheating would fulfill something for him, if only for a moment. The sad fact is that it just makes people feel worse. If you love him and believe this will be the one and only time, forgive him and get counseling. Good luck to you and your new baby. Famlly life is rough but it is rewarding in a way unlike anything else.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • I would suggest couples counseling if you are unsure. People make mistakes. Everyone says "once a cheater always a cheater," but I don't buy it. I cheated on a boyfriend I was very much in love with a looong time ago. It made me feel so shitty I could never think about doing that again, to myself or someone I care about. I was nauseated for weeks afterward, and it took me months, maybe years, to get over it emotionally. If he is truly regretful and wants to make things work I would give it a shot. If it doesn't work out, at least you will know that you did everything you could. Good luck.
    kikikiki

    Answer by kikikiki at 12:45 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • You *were* betrayed. But think carefully about your next step. Is this part of a pattern or a once time error?

    You might consider counseling.

    I'm the last one to say "stay" in a bad relationship, but in this case he seems to have seen the error of his ways.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:56 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • No one can tell you what's right for you except you. Some people can forgive being unfaithful and others can't. He sounds like he's trying really hard to me but I'm not the one in the relationship with my heart broken. I can tell you this much tho, it takes a long time to trust again and it's a good thing that he's given you the passwords, he's taking the tests, he's going for therapy etc but only you know what you can deal with at this point. Me, I'd likely try to save the marriage because he does seem to be trying, and right now your hormones are all over the place and it's just not good to make any rash decisions right now so I'd likely wait till after the baby is born and my hormones got back to normal before I decided to save it or leave it. That doesn't mean you have to live together while you're deciding, but that's what I think I'd do is stay and try to work it out or atleast till after hormones have ceased.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 1:26 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • i wouldn't listen to anyone else, i would follow what is in your heart, if its telling you to leave then i think you should leave. once a guy cheats he'll probably do it again or you could never have that trust back that you once did. it is broken and no matter what you won't be able to get it back. i'd say leave.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:43 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

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