Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Considering Foster/Adoption...not sure.

Me and my husband know that we would like one more child. Our problem lays in to decided to have one or to adopt. Or maybe to foster.

I know that legally/finanially adopting can be time consuming/expensive.

I would just like to know what your experiences with it were like and how it went.

I am a 22 year old stay at home mom of one 2 year old boy. My husband has a steady, well paying job and we own our home. But its only a 2 bedroom. If we adopt we'll either have to add on or have the kids share a room.

Do you know if they will allow the kids to share or if they must have their own rooms?

As you can see we don't know much but would like to know more. If you know of any good sites or have any info it would be much appreciated. Thanks so much for your help in advance.

 
lstrickland

Asked by lstrickland at 12:44 AM on Oct. 20, 2009 in Adoption

Level 19 (7,042 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • http://www.davethomasfoundation.org/

    Here is a great site for you to get started. They will send you out a free kit that explains alot about foster to adopt.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • I know that in CA many foster parents have 2 or 3 kids in one room.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 12:47 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • Oh! but that's for same sex children.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 12:47 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • We're located in Arkansas. If that matters.
    lstrickland

    Answer by lstrickland at 12:53 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • I did fost/adopt in CA and we have an amazing little girl. If you adopt a 'special needs' child then that child continues to receive a state stipend until they are 18. Special needs can mean anything from a disability to being a little older than an infant. If money is an issue and you want to save a child in a bad situation then you should check it out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:44 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • As someone above said, same sex cant be in the same room but as long as the room is big enough, I dont think that is a problem.

    The biggest issue with Fostering is that the goal is to allow the child to go home to their birthparents. If the child is already legally clear for adoption, most likely it is severly special needs or much older (above age 8 seems to be where they become less likely to be adopted).

    Trust me, the majority of us would not be spending our life savings on domestic adoption if adopting from foster care wasnt difficult.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • Be careful, be very careful. The state is on the side of the child always! Dangerous ground. Watch your back. Keep records of everything. Being foster parents was the most rewarding thing I have ever done in my life and I got two beautiful children to prove it. But it all ended very dramatically when our 12 year old turned 16 and got mad.
    MammaGee

    Answer by MammaGee at 10:13 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • Since you already have a child, I would say think long and hard before adopting a child from foster care. These children are in foster care for a reason. They have been abused, neglected and many times much worse. Many of these children require years of therapy to get over their trauma. They could have attachment issues, emotional issues, personality disorders, defiant disorders etc. They will drain you emotionally and physically. They require tons, tons, tons (did I mention tons) of attention. Sometimes the other children start feeling left out.

    Now that I got that out, on to the positive. These children are in desparate need of loving, caring and very committed parents. It's a wonderful thing to be able to be a parent to foster children. I would not give up my girls for anything in the world. I feel very blessed to be their mom.
    Littlebit722

    Answer by Littlebit722 at 7:59 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • I would say, if you can have more of your own, do it! Don't adopt! There are more childless infertile couples than there are infants available to adopt! Don't take an infant that could be adopted by a couple that will never experience having a baby! If you want to adopt out of foster care, wait until your children are older and take in teens, they are the ones really need! The little ones in foster care have hundreds of families fighting over them too!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:45 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • The PP obviously doesn't know anything about adoption. There are millions upon millions of children that wait in this world for parents to love them. Childhood does not wait.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN