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I haven't even had my baby yet, and I'm already being bashed for wanting to BF by my own fam!

She's gonna be my 3rd. I BF'd my 1st for about 2 frustrating weeks, didn't even try with my 2nd which I regret sometimes, and now I REALLY want to with my 3rd. I'm only 27 weeks and lactating alot so I think I'll be pretty succesful this time. Anyway I have all this leftover formula and my dad told me to use it for the new baby, but I'm like no, I'm gonna BF this one. He got all defensive and was like, "You're gonna do something different with the 3rd? You're gonna get up every 2 hours to BF?" Rolling his eyes and crap. And up until someone informed my hub about the wonderful benefits of BF he didn't want me to either because he thought my boobs would become saggy. (I know, he's a complete ass sometimes) Jeez! Why can't people just be encouraging, or atleast keep their mouths shut? It's really annoying feeling that I have no support in my decision.

 
tnm786

Asked by tnm786 at 7:39 AM on Oct. 20, 2009 in Pregnancy

Level 43 (159,608 Credits)
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Answers (15)
  • Keep the formula just in case-- I got tons of samples when I was pregnant and I kept it in case my milk didn't come in or I didn't produce enough.

    As for your family-- ignore them. There are lots of solutions to various breast feeding problems, and you can consult a lactaction specialist while you're still in the hospital, or afterward when you go in for your baby's well visits. I also recommend you invest in a good pump so that you can store breast milk and allow your husband to also be involved in the feeding-- to not only let him bond with the baby, but also give you a break so you can get more than 2 hours of sleep at a time! It also allows your baby to be babysat by someone else to give you a sanity break if need be.

    Get the book "The Nursing Mother's Companion" and it will help you with a lot of issues that you may face.

    Good luck!
    Busimommi

    Answer by Busimommi at 8:40 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • I don't think that's bashing, more like you are doing it for this one and not the other and he sees it as you wasting the formula. Just donate it.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:46 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • My friend has no support too and has ended up formula feeding. It is sad that people can be so discouraging about it! And to your dad - not a single one of my kids nursed every two hours!! One of them nursed every 3 but the others slept 4 to 6 hours at night even as a newborn. That's a TON more sleep then when you are pregnant and getting up to pee every couple of hours!! Lol! I think breastfeeding is so much easier! Good luck and just ignore everyone else (easier said then done!)
    micheledo

    Answer by micheledo at 7:46 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • Maybe hes a little upset that youll have something with this baby that he wont. Maybe he enjoyed bottle feeding his babies and thinks that he wont have the same bond this time around. Id talk to him and let him know how you feel. Dont base your decision on others. Do it for yourself and your baby. If it doesnt work out then just bottle feed. I would make it a habit to pump and give him his daily feeding if he thats what is really causing his doubts.
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 7:58 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • Ive read in many baby books that men tend to be jelous of BF. As I said previously he is worried hes gonna lack the bond he had with the others. Its also due to the fact that your breasts were once "his" and now will be the babys. Hes prob worried he wont enjoy sex as much either. Many men will not openly admit that so Id just assume thats why hes unhappy.
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 8:01 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • sorry to keep going on! lol But they do have parenting books for men that discuss these types of issues. He may be able to understand it better from another male perspective. Many pregnancy books for mothers have a chapter just for dad too
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 8:03 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • I would keep the formula - you can use it to supplement if you can't get enough out of a pump. Breastmilk is best for your baby, you know that, and that's what you have to go with. Breastfeeding does NOT make your boobs sag. If they are going to sag it's from pregnancy and age, not breastfeeding. I breastfed 4 kids and have a "great rack" lol
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:03 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • Screw them! I'd tell them that you're doing what is best for your baby, which is breast feeding, and if they don't like it, they can either keep their mouths shut, or ki$$ you ass. Worry about your baby, not people that wanna give bad advice! :)
    StefanieN84

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 9:14 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • everytime my fam would say something, i just gave them facts. it shut them up for a little while. then 4 months came, and the questions started about weaning. and i gave them more facts and said "why would i want to put him on formula for 6 months? why not just let him bfed until he's ready to stop?" i gave them facts about extended bfing, and that shut them up til about 10 months. "well, he's going to be turning 1 soon, time to stop." and again, i told them i am letting him self-wean. i got looks from them, but guess what, he's 14 months and only nurses once a day, if that. they haven't said anything to me since then. i ignored them at times, but when they pissed me off, then i showed them the facts. i emailed my mom several times showing her what the WHO, AAP, LLL, etc recommend. my son is extremely smart and healthy and everytime they say something about it i say it's bc he's bfed.
    mommytobobby

    Answer by mommytobobby at 9:23 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • Please join the BF groups here on CafeMom. You will get a ton of encouragement and great advice. You shouldn't have to supplement with formula, in fact that will keep you from developing an adequate supply. That being said, with each of my babies I do keep one can of formula on hand in case there is an emergency (like I have to go to the hospital or some other extreme situation that keeps me from being available to BF).

    I think my husband seems a little uncomfortable about me BFing, but he keeps his mouth shut. He won't let me nurse in public, even with a privacy cover. He makes me go to the car and he parks the car way out away from everyone just so I can BF when we aren't at home. Every time he talks about how bottle feeding isn't a big deal I just remind him that breast milk is free & formula is expensive and then he suddenly becomes quite supportive again.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 9:40 AM on Oct. 20, 2009

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