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How can I get my daughter to care?

I have a 12 y/o daughter in 7th grade and she does not care about her appearance... She is 5'5" and weighs like 104lbs. So she is tall and thin... she has long blonde hair and is really cute. Now as we get started... I don't want my daughter to grow up too fast or look like a whore, but...

I cannot get her do things like ... brush her hair more than once a day (in the mornings before school), or even slightly style it... Her clothes never match... I know she knows how to match, she picks out her clothes when we buy them and always makes sure the entire outfit is matching and complete... down to the jewelry! But when it comes time to wear it, she doesn't... she mismatches and swears it matches! She spent tons of money on this years school clothes and won't wear any of the skinny jeans now... because only the popular girls wear them and she's not popular.

She always goes on about how cute someones hair is or their

Answer Question

Asked by BigMama1077 at 2:45 PM on Oct. 20, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (25)
  • outfit is, but she never even tries to make herself look cute. But when she's at the house just goofing around she makes herslef up to look so cute. She says guys are not interested in her.

    I just don't know how to get her to take pride in how she looks... even after athletics, she won't rebrush her hair...

    Answer by BigMama1077 at 2:47 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • You don't. She will get it soon enough, why rush it?

    Answer by Nathskitten at 2:48 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • Give her a little bit of time. She is still figuring out who she is and where she fits. My daughter did that too, then one day she was up and flat ironing her hair and going thru my jewelry box. Her thing with the skinny jeans maybe she doenst like those snotty girls and doesnt want anything to do withthem or be mistaken for being one of them.

    Just remember to compliment her when she does look beautiful and her own style is ok.

    GOOD LUCK its a hard stage to be in.

    Answer by roxyann76 at 2:50 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • try and teach her ''responsibility'' in trying her best is important! She soundsvery dear,protect her from this sick evil world and worldly thinking! Get her clothes that fit her personality not yours... good luck and do not sweat it!

    Answer by gaurdianangels at 2:52 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • I have to force her to brush her teeth...

    Answer by BigMama1077 at 2:53 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • That is basic grooming and you should argue about that. But pushing her to wear certain clothes and dress to please you is different and should not be pushed.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • give her a treat later that day if she brushes her teath perhaps a healthy milkshake! Once she gets a crush this will improve! help her mama!

    Answer by gaurdianangels at 3:03 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • You should only worry about her basic hygiene. You know, taking a shower, washing her hair, brushing her teeth, stuff like that. Her not dressing cute is a blessing really. Truthfully you should be glad boys do not like her.



    Answer by louise2 at 3:04 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • Sound like she's insecure. She feels weird wearing what the popular girls wear. She wants to dress that way, but chickens out. Just leave her alone and don't push it. You'll only make her feel worse about herself. Don't you remember being 12? It's a very hard time for a girl. I say back off.

    Answer by mompam at 3:04 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • It sounds like your focus should be on improvig her self esteem. I won't pretend to know how to do this though! It sounds like she thinks if she dresses cute, people will think she's trying to be popular and will shoot her down. Are people talking about her at school? Is she involved in any sports, clubs or orgs? I would try to get her focus off the popular girls and boys and on improving herself outside of her looks.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 3:12 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

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