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How do I tell him that I love her more and want to be with her?

There's this woman whom I have known all my life. I love her so much, and we have been through so much together. She's the only woman I have ever thought I could spend my life with. We both ended up getting married, and having children. She is single now and I feel like it's now or never. I love my DH and he's a great guy, but she's all I can think about. Please, I need advise. How do I tell him that I love her more and want to be with her? I don't want to hurt him.

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PepperG

Asked by PepperG at 6:26 PM on Oct. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • First, does she feel the same way?
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 6:26 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • You need to be sure that this is truly what you want. Be prepared to be hurt by either party. You gotta go with your gut and be honest with yourself and them. Id personally see a therapist. Someoen whos there to play devils advocate and help find out what i really want. This is a huge life changer so think it ALL out until you are POSITIVE GL :)
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 6:28 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • Yes. We both have always felt this way about each other.
    PepperG

    Answer by PepperG at 6:29 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • There is no easy way to tell your husband and he will be hurt no matter what. You should sit him down and tell him that you are really sorry but you are gay and that you would like a divorce. It will be hard but its not fair to you or your husband to live a life you don't want.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 6:32 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • I seem to always forget something in my answers but I just wanted to say good luck in your choice. Everyone deserves to be happy
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 6:34 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • There really is no way of telling him without hurting him. If he loves you he is going to get hurt. All you can do is sit him down and explain to him why you want to be with her. You love her and feel it would be unfair to both of you for you to stay with him when you don't love him as much as her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:41 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • You commited yourself to your husband. Act like an adult and keep your promises. I know it may be hard but its the mature and RIGHT thing to do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:41 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • Tell him on his birthday or your anniv with him. I think that wil get the point across.
    Anjelicahsmommy

    Answer by Anjelicahsmommy at 7:00 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • I've totally been there! I took the leap and risked loosing a lot to be with my now wife. It was well worth it and although it was hard in the beginning and my DH was very hurt and angry, I knew that we had to be together and that it was right. That was 6 years ago! Do what makes you happy, you only get one chance!
    newmomma14

    Answer by newmomma14 at 8:07 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • have you ever talk about an open relationship with him? Does he know how you feel or about her
    pinkgirl021775

    Answer by pinkgirl021775 at 10:18 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

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