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when is the best age to talk to your daughter about sex?

My daughter is 9 and has already asked me the dreaded question that every parent hates to have to answer. "mommy where do babies come from?" I'm not sure how to answer her question because I have never had to deal with it before. Please give me some ideas or tactics to use when talking to her about it and when the right time is.

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Asked by bobbiesgirl1980 at 10:16 PM on Oct. 20, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (24)
  • my daughter asked when she was 5 and had her baby sister on the way. dont make it out to be gross, make it a matter of science, research the anatomy with her and simply explain how it works(not sex itself but the scientific process.....sperm and eggs minging to make baby......hopefully she wont ask how they get in there but honesty really is the best but you can always tell her how much your comfortablke with and stop there

    Answer by cassie_m at 10:20 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • My 9 year old daughter knows that sex makes babies, but she doesn't know what sex is. I will cover that when she starts her period for the first time. It will be quite a conversation. We'll have to get ice cream after.

    Answer by Pnukey at 10:30 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • In my opinion, it is different with every young girl. Some girls are ready much earlier than others, to find out about this stuff, while others can be as old as 11 or 12 before they show any interest. My daughter was one that asked early, and because I worked in the hospitals, I witnessed several young girls as young as 10 and 11 having babies. (Scary!) So I decided it was best to be completely honest with my daughter and I did tell her about sex as well. She was 9 at the time. I just kept thinking that by her knowing, there would be no excuse for her to come to me at 11 and say she was pregnant and didn't know how it happened. We still to this day, are very honest and open about sex, and drugs and other important subjects. We have a great mother-daughter relationship, (I don't do the "Friend" thing), and now at 14 she tells me when she has a crush on someone, but she's very careful to save the physical stuff for later.

    Answer by jdrae13 at 10:54 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • Remember when my daughter asked me? she is only 7 now, but honesty is best just dont go into details sweety. it will be fine.

    Answer by scratch151 at 2:24 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • There are three conversations here: Where do babies come from? They grow inside mommies and the come out their vaginas. How does a mommies grow a baby? Parts of the female anatomy and periods. How do they get in there? Sex You need to have conversation #1 right away. She should have figured that out by now. Then you need to have conversation #2. Then start preparing for conversation #3.


    Answer by LoveMyDog at 7:42 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • Here is an article on how to talk to your kids about sex and puberty

    Also some good books to  help you in finding the right words to say and a good reference for kids to go back to after the talk for any questions they were too embarrassed to ask


    Answer by momjs at 7:44 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • The earlier the better.

    Answer by SlightlyPerfect at 8:34 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • Just give her what she can handle right now. You don't have to give her all the details. And in fact, you SHOULDN'T give her all the details right now. She's not old enough to understand.

    My older two kids are 3 and 4 and they have asked where babies come from. It's normal for kids of any age to ask this question, especially if they have a younger sibling growing in mommy's tummy. At any age, just give them a little bit of information and as they grow older they will ask more questions.

    Cross each bridge when you get there. :)

    Answer by fluud7 at 8:45 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • Here they have sex education in 5th grade in the public schools, when most kids are 10. I plan to talk to my daughter before that so she's not so surprised when they cover it (she's 8 now). I definitely think girls need to know what's going to happen BEFORE they get their period so they aren't freaked out when it happens.
    I would get a good book for you to read before you talk to her, but also get her a book on her level to read that may answer any questions you left out or she forgot to ask, or may initiate some more questions from her that she hadn't talked about.

    Answer by missanc at 8:49 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • We do not hide sex from our 4 year old just as it was never hidden from me. I was a virgin by choice until 21 (a couple months before our wedding because I didn't want to be in pain on our wedding night). I honestly think that hiding the truths about sex make it more appealing for kids. I got the actual talk when i was 8.

    Answer by Octobersmom at 8:58 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

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