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Mother vs Father

What is a mother to do when the father of her child only wants to take care of the child only once a year?
This is the deal my child father stated to me that he will only buy our daughter something on her birthday, he will not send any money to me none watsoever. He really dont have to he can just at least buy the stuff and I can do the rest. I do have a child support case pending but its takes a very long time to hear back because he is out of state. I have left the door open for him to be in her life but sometimes it seems as though I am forcing him on her and I dont it to be that away. Now, my boyfriend/significant other wants me to cut all ties off completely because he is not helping me but I dont want it to be all about money when it comes to my daughter father. I want her to spend tme with hm. What shld I do?

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Asked by mom42107 at 10:31 PM on Oct. 20, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 13 (1,080 Credits)
Answers (2)
  • Unfortunately, you wanting your DD (dear daughter) to have a relationship with her BF (birth father) doesn't really matter. HE has to want to have a relationship with his daughter. It's not up to your SO either. I can understand your boyfriend saying that the BF isn't helping but, it's just not up to him. I'm a Step Mama by the way. If the father wanted to be invloved he would be. I'm sorry for your DD but, you know what she is probably better off without him. Just so you know if the birth parent makes no contact with the child for a certain amount of time (it depends on what state) you can file for abandonment & terminate his rights but, I think you can only do that if you are married & your husband wants to adopt her. Don't rush to make a decision think of what is truly best for your DD. No one will know better than you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:58 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • You can't do anything about getting him to spend time with her. You can only leave the door open and hope that he will decide to be a part of her life someday. As for the money part of it, right now you may not want to be all about the money, but eventually when you're less upset, you'll realize it takes a lot of money to raise a child and you'll want it. I started out that way with my ex-husband and now I wish I would have hit him harder (and not because I hate him or anything). He visits the kids once of twice a month and calls every 6-8 weeks (maybe, if that).
    My children have a dad to help raise them only because I married a great guy that loves them. Their dad is like a visiting uncle.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:07 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

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