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help

i have been with my husband for over 4 years and he has never laid a hand on me till now. these past couple months he has been getting physical and i dont know what to do. we split up for a while and he was doing drugs and whatnt. now he is back and this is happening
i want to help him
advice

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:53 PM on Oct. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • GET THE HELL OUT! take you and yours and leave him, go to a shelter if you have too dont think that he will change now that he has started hitting you it wont stop.....
    wyattgrace

    Answer by wyattgrace at 10:57 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • If you believe that its the drugs then legally you are the only one other than himself that is able to put him in a rehab or something like that to help him. Or you could bring up marriage counsling. It could be stress but that is no reason to do that to you i know it sucks but if you feel like you need to leave then leave
    armywife2009101

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 10:57 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • If he's abusing you, you shouldn't wait it out while he figures his stuff out. Stay away while he gets counseling. You have to protect yourself though. Staying away is the best thing you can do next to lining up some help for him.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:57 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • Most people think that men like this will change. Sorry to break it to ya, but it won't. It would take A LOT out of you to help him change. It's not worth it because HE has to want to change. I've learned that too. You can want to change someone all you want, but THEY are the ones that has to WANT it. Trust me...I've been there. You need to get out ASAP.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • he needs to get help so the source of all this comes out. if he doesn't seem to want help, he's refusing it, then i suggest you get out of the relationship before it gets any worse. if he keeps abusing you, even after getting help, something is up. at least stay seperated until everything is settled. GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • You need to form a plan as quickly as possible without him knowing. You need to leave him. This problem only gets worse. do you have family you can go live with? please leave asap!!
    Newbegginings04

    Answer by Newbegginings04 at 11:17 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

  • Please keep yourself and children SAFE!! No one has the right to hurt you! He has the problem not you and you are NOT his solution or the cause of the problem!! You cannot help him, or "fix'' him. He MUST do that!! Physical abuse is not a sign of love or affection. It is demeaning and controlling. Not only do you want to be safe but you need to set an example for children. They need to see that YOU are to be treated respectfully and that you are strong and deserving of a life without violence!
    jessa1091

    Answer by jessa1091 at 11:30 PM on Oct. 20, 2009

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