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Are stay-at-home moms going "crazy" ?

Everybody seems to have job with remuneration (money). But for SAHMs the credit for all the hard work rarely seems to be recognized.

Some of the questions for us SAHMs are:

What are you going to do for your family once your child enters school?

Are you going to be working from home?

If you had a job the finances would be better?

How are you a role model for your children?

The feminist urge women to put their jobs first. "Get job, get a profession before getting married". "Your husband will treat you badly if you don't get a job and find independence" and etc.

With so much pressure from our society what would you recommend a SAHM to keep her sanity?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:31 AM on Oct. 21, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • What are you going to do for your family once your child enters school? Homeschool. If not, keep a clean and friendly home, help in classrooms, be available when needed, and volunteer.

    Are you going to be working from home? It's a small possibility, but if I do, it will be in computer programming, which is what my degree is in.

    If you had a job the finances would be better? Not really.

    How are you a role model for your children? I am educated and I am following my dream... to be a mother, and a good one. I learn how to do a lot of new things (such as make pasta from scratch), and I want to always be there for my children. Obviously my husband found his mother to be a role model; he wanted a wife who would stay home.

    As for feminists... I think their agenda has cost me a lot of my freedom as a woman to CHOOSE to be different from a man.
    tyheamma

    Answer by tyheamma at 11:30 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • I don't really feel any pressure from society to be anything other than what I am. Most of my friends and even most of the moms at my kids schools are SAHMS so for me to work would be really out of the ordinary. Even when the kids around here go to school most of the moms stay home, so we're here when our kids are sick, when they get out of school, we volunteer in the classroom, etc. I have a baby now, but even before I had him when my older ones were in school I tried to get all of the cleaning, shopping, laundry, etc done before they got home from school so when they got home I could just spend time with them.
    Obviously, if I had a job we would have more money but we do fine without my income and it's more important to my dh and myself that I stay home with our kids. I am a good role model to my kids as a great mom, which is just as important as any other job - actually more important.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:39 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • What? Well I work two nights a week, but that's more so I can socialize for free! And for fun money. I didn't stay at home with my first, so I really appreciate the differences with staying at home with the other two.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 8:43 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • (1) I'm a homeschooling mom, but I do plan on staying home (primarily, I may take up some paid hobbies) even after my kids are grown. I like making my husbands life comfortable-- and he really enjoys the benefits of the stay at home wife.

    (2) I work with Scentsy right now (check out my website scentsy.com/clairem ). The extra money is nice, but its more to get out of the house.

    (3) Our finances wouldn't improve by me working. With 2 small children and another on the way, daycare would eat up about anything I would make-- not to mention a work wardrobe, more meals out, more gas, etc.

    (4) I'm a role model for my children all the time-- taking care of them, and everything God has given us. They see me manage money and practicing self restraint when I see something I want but can't budget for right now. They see me being a caring, kind wife to my husband, and being supportive of my spouce. continued....
    IrishMommaC

    Answer by IrishMommaC at 8:54 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • (4).... CONTINUED They see me go back into the store to pay for the donuts they ate while we were shopping that I forgot to mention to the cashier. They see my working hard on pursueing the education that I didn't get to finish. It goes on and on...

    (5) Having my Scentsy business and school has made a huge difference for me. At first, I was going a little crazy over the winters (were in MI, the summers were no big deal because I was out with the other SAHM's at parks all the time), but now I am so happy at home. No matter what the feminists you're describing say, the time I am being given to raise my children is precious and worth much much more than any paycheck. As for the disrespectful man thing- you've got to be careful about the man you pick. There's no other way to say that. Some mend won't respect a SAHM, others find one invaluable.
    IrishMommaC

    Answer by IrishMommaC at 8:58 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • What are you going to do for your family once your child enters school? Same thing I do now...take care of them and the house.

    Are you going to be working from home? Nope


    If you had a job the finances would be better? Yes of course they would but we're fine financially with me needing to add to it

    How are you a role model for your children? Why would employment have anything to do with being a role model? I lead by example. I teach my children to be good, kind people and to do the right thing...as does my husband. Finances, in my opinion, don't have a thing to do with being a role model.

    Kimposible

    Answer by Kimposible at 9:08 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • What are you going to do for your family once your child enters school? what I've been doing all along. not all contributions to family life include depositing money in a bank

    Are you going to be working from home? of course. but there won't be a paycheck

    If you had a job the finances would be better? no. we'd have more money (debatable, though, with child care costs). more money does not mean better finances, or more happiness

    How are you a role model for your children? you're kidding right? I'm THERE. you can't be a role model if they never see you.

    The feminist urge women to put their jobs first. "Get job, get a profession before getting married". "Your husband will treat you badly if you don't get a job and find independence" and etc.

    With so much pressure from our society what would you recommend a SAHM to keep her sanity?

    society is wrong. care for those children, and love those precious time
    apexmommy

    Answer by apexmommy at 9:19 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • I'll answer the basic questions first and then discuss the last question.

    What are you going to do for your family once your child enters school? The same thing I'm doing now, except add in volunteering at the school(s).

    Are you going to be working from home? I do work from home. I'm a photographer.

    If you had a job the finances would be better? Maybe. Depending on the kind of job I could find and what the cost of childcare would be. I am well educated but our lifestyle makes getting a good job difficult.

    How are you a role model for your children? I'm a strong, independent woman who many times is the head of the household out of necessity. My husband makes the money to make the ends meet, but I keep them tied. My children have seen my strength and independence when their father leaves for schools, training and even war. They know *I* am with them and there for them through moves and deployments.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 9:24 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • I don't believe that society pressures women to work. The feminist movement told women to be independent. That has nothing to do with working outside the home.

    I do believe women should live on their own, get an education and support themselves for a while before they get married. I think men should too. No one should go straight from their parents to a spouse, as they go straight from parents who take care of them and tell them what to do to a spouse who does the same.

    I also believe that people need to be a bit more careful about who they choose as a spouse.

    As for keeping their sanity, my best advice is to do something for yourself. No matter what it is, if it's something you enjoy then keep doing it. I have a few things. One is my photography, which isn't only my career, but it's something I love too. Another is making most of our meals from scratch.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 9:34 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • Take a look at your family... are they happy and thriving.... if so, no worries on what anyone else thinks. Its about what works for you and your family. Their opinion is the most important!
    wildboyz1994

    Answer by wildboyz1994 at 10:09 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

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