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How do I teach my 9 month old some independence?

I realize at 9 months she still relies on me for everything and I'm not trying to shirk my duties or anything... BUT she's driving me insane. She cries NONSTOP if I put her down. She won't fall asleep by herself. She wakes up every two or three hours at night and wants to be nursed back to sleep. She screams if I hand her to her father.She's very clingy. Don't get me wrong... I LOVE being her favorite person but I have a four year old with special needs that I need to take care of as well. How do I get her to entertain herself for a while? No...Not just entertain herself but NOT CLING to me constantly or SCREAM if I put her down?

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Asked by SarahBethK at 10:07 AM on Oct. 21, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (5)
  • Im dealing with the same issue with my son. I had to start letting him throw his fit till he finds something else to do. It drives me crazy, but since I stopped picking him up on command, hes gotten better. Good luck!! I know its tough!!!

    Answer by Sierra_Mistress at 10:25 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • It sounds like you are under a lot of stress. Your baby is behaving just like a 9 month old is supposed to behave. You can't 'teach' a baby independence. As babies get older they 'develop' independence.

    What about other people's kids? Some babies don't let their need be known. These babies don't get their needs for being held and nursed at night met and probably will have problems later. Parents may ignor their needs doing things like letting the baby cry it out. Again these babies aren't getting their most basic needs met.

    Human babies have to be born after only 9 months gestation. It would be ideal if they would be born when they could crawl or walk at 9-12 months but their heads wouldn't fit out. The first 9-12 months human babies are hard wired to have a symbiotic relationship with their mother and to demand being held and sleeping near for protection.

    Answer by Gailll at 10:41 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • when you put her down place her in her crib with lots of intresting toys.. play some music and walk away... if you do this everyday and consistant about it, she will adapt to it....

    Answer by Linsigirl26 at 11:29 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • Don't nurse her to sleep at night, if that's how she learns to fall asleep then she's going to need that to get back to sleep when she wakes at night. Most people wake up a couple times/night, but we know how to roll over and go back to sleep so quickly that we don't even realize we wake. If a baby hasn't developed the skill of going to sleep by themselves, then they are going to need whatever prop gets them to sleep. It's not going to hurt your baby to let them fuss for a few minutes.

    Answer by missanc at 11:51 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • My daughter use to be like that she wouldnt even go to her daddy with out screaming. Then when she started crawling she didnt like playing on the floor without me down there with her so I would get down there for a little bit then I would get up and eventually she got use to it know she is 11 mths and plays on the floor by herself for long periods of time then when im done with what I need to get done then I play with her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:01 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

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