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Just found out my 13 year old forged my name on a bad test, any ides for a punishment? I tend to be less severe than his father so this is always an issue.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:25 AM on Oct. 21, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (12)
  • Wow...that's a biggie. I think I'd go with grounding from everything, tv, video games, outside, friends, anything and everything he enjoys. Maybe some extra chores, things that he doesn't normally do. Maybe dad has some work out in the garage or toolshop that he can help with? Good luck! I hope you come up with something that really makes him understand.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:44 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • Punishment does not teach good behavior. I teaches kids to resent their parents and behave worse.

    I suggest the book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 11:46 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • IMO if this is a first offense I would restrict him from something-you know better than I do what- I would discuss trust and in the restriction use it to show what a lack of trust feels like.With a clear head decide what further punishments will be and tell him/her.Explain from this point on this will be his/her choice.The nicer easier way or the tougher harder way.I would ,only in that class ,email the teacher and just say grades aren't always making it home so could they be emailed to you.My 25 yr old pulled this in eighth grade one time.He was in a gifted program and quite an athlete so we warned him next time we will tell the coach.He would have been benched ...horrors.I think it is kind of a age thing,I did it once but didn't get caught.Though I worried about it so much I never did it again.My oldest has finished college now and he has warned his siblings mom knows everything.I wish.

    drfink

    Answer by drfink at 11:56 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • cont.The way we did the trust talk I explained it felt like I was set up, suckered etc. that I gave him trust etc.and he just used it to take advantage of us. I say this because he recently told me he has never forgotten the trust talk. That of course he had not thought of that at the time he changed his grade but it really bothered him to realize what he had done.Good luck

    drfink

    Answer by drfink at 12:13 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • First of all you and your husband need to talk about this!!! Come up with a consequence together and stick to it!! You will end up with a child that you actually like being around! I have four daughters and have found that its not the punishment, although consequences are needed, so much as the follow through and the talking with them, that makes the difference. My daughters aren't perfect, but they are great kids.
    Mrs.Schell

    Answer by Mrs.Schell at 5:32 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • Ok first I laughed because this reminded me of how in highschool I used to make money off my brother or get him to do my chores by signing my dads name to things for him, I was a master at dads signature and he rarley signed anything for school -my mom always did- so they really only had my forgery to compare it to!
    Anyway I would talk to DS about the seriousness of forging things, lately with my 16 yo DH and I have been asking him what he thinks is a good punishment and whatever he comes up with loosing or having to do around the house we use but add time to it. It is actually working pretty well, the first time he tried to get us to take things he hardly ever uses so we went the other extreme and took all electronic items since then he has really been coming up with good consequences and logical ones that fit the crime too.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 5:54 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • Talk to her tell her that its not right to be doing things like that . She can get into big trouble sometime if she ever gets caught, Tell your daughter that next time she does this your going to call the school and ask them to please call you to come to school to sign her test papers.Untill she can promise that she will bring all test papers home for you to sign. gl
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 8:54 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • I would relate the punishment to the crime. It involved schoolwork so talk to the teacher to see if she will work with you on this. My idea would be to retake the test afterschool but not get a improved grade also I would have him write a research report on the consq. of forgery in the adult world to hand into the teacher. The warning would be that if it happened again in any class the rest of his school years he would do the above again plus lose trust and privileges maybe even would threaten to hold drivers license until he was old enough to sign for it himself since your signature is very valuable to you and you do not give it out freely.

    higherboundmom

    Answer by higherboundmom at 9:54 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • Write dictionary pages. I hate to say it, but most of us have forged our parents names on one paper or another. My mom's signature and mine are very close and some people cannot tell the difference. I wouldn't go overboard with punishment though. You can have a police officer talk to your son about identity theft and forgery.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:10 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • My son has done this too!! makes you crazy. I went with grounding along with writing the teacher an apology letter(nobody likes to be thought of as dumb and that is what the kid is telling the teacher IMO). The only time I am glad I am a single parent is when I hear mom and pop differ on important issues. So what did Dad say?? I like the idea about the police too...in the real world it is a crime.
    spicemom3162

    Answer by spicemom3162 at 10:33 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

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