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I need your opinion!! Why do you think my DH let people walk all over him which in turn means I have to put up with crap because he has not handled it to begin with?

Both My Dh and I have kids from our previous marriage. His kids have few manners and don't clean...and when I say they make the biggest messes I mean a total HELL hole. They are older so the two years we dated the twins were in college and his son how is almost 17. I think they tried to be nice to me in the beginning but now that we are married his kids have rude. Especially the 17 year old because he has NO discipline. Even when we tale him to family counseling, the counselor is very to the point about how his behavior needs to change. However I feel the problem more is with DH. He does not follow through with discipline and allows me to clean up the mess. This is very frustrating. I even have had to deal with drama from the ex, but only because he does not stand up to her. NOW however when will be dealing with a brother getting out of prison for murder. The brother has never taken total responsiblity in the death and shows .

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:27 AM on Oct. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • Continued....little remorse for his actions. He has continued to supportive of him and even has been managing his funds will locked up. I feel this is very noble but upon his release I don't want him coming here. Which I feel he plans to do. I have a feeling my hubby will not stand up to him. I want to know how to handle this.What makes a person not stand up to his kids, ex, brother.....I want to help but then he gets defensive.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • Hope things get better for you honey.
    bella69147

    Answer by bella69147 at 12:22 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • i kinda know how you feel, my dh will do things against my wishes because he "doesnt wanna be rude" or whatever... was your dh abused as a kid? mine was and i think it all stems from that. the passive thing gets you out of some bad situations and lets you slip on by without conflict, does he fear conflict... i tell my husband to stop being a pussy and act like a man which makes him mad enough at me to stand up to other people... i would tell dh that his brother cant stay with you because he (killed --is that right?? someone) and anyone fresh out of jail can stay in a halfway house, NOT WITH UR KIDS! tell him that you will be the bad guy and go to the jail and visit the brother and tell him that he cannot stay with you - to find other arrangements. sometimes you can push them into standing up for themselves and sometimes you have to do it for them, sadly.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 12:31 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

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