Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What should I do now?

My husband and I have been in counseling, he decided he doesn't want to go anymore. Things have been much better, I have been trying my best to make things work. He's not the same loving husband that he used to be. One of the things he said to the counselor was that he didn't want to hurt me. I keep playing that back in my head. I can't help but to think he's just hanging in there because he doesn't want to hurt me. I would rather know the you really want to be with me or not. We have kids together. Any suggestions?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:39 AM on Oct. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • If he's just staying to keep you happy then you're both going to end up miserable. Theres no point in bieng with someone, even with the children, who's not in love with you. The kids will feel that tension and probably end up in loveless relationships themselves because they see you two just bieng zombies and riding out the relationship.

    Answer by Shyma at 11:42 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • It sounds as though he doesn't want to be there, he doesn't want the counseling anymore and that seems important to you. I think it's time to be a Strong, Independent Woman and move forward with your own life without him. I know it's hard but I can say this from experience, as time goes by, it gets easier, it really does. I was with my kids Dad for 11 years - - we have 2 boys and I have a daughter from a previous relationship. He changed but didn't change and so I moved out and now things are great for both of us. Stay focused and positve. Good Luck to you!

    Answer by rebeccan3 at 11:44 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • It sounds like he loves u but not in love with u anymore. yall have kids, maybe he just staying to keep it together if u know what i mean. if he said he doesnt want to hurt you that sounds like he doesnt want to tell u its not going to work and divorce here ya come! he knows it will hurt you bc ur trying to keep it together. WHY NOT sit him down without any force, harsh words, no yelling. just sweet voices and ask him please tell me exactly how u feel and if u feel u cant say it to my face.. need to write it down just b patient and say can u write it down and give it to me. please. all i want to know is the exact truth. i stilll love you , it will hurt but it will hurt even more if i keep living without the truth. GL sweetie. u can msg me if u need.

    Answer by SweetiePieAfWf at 11:48 AM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • ask him your ??'s directly at home when the kids are asleep, you deserve to know why he is staying... tell him what you suspect, ask him if there is any truth to it -- you aready think it so no use trying to save feelings tell him you want the whole truth no matter what that means to him... good luck.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 12:34 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.