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any of u have a man like this or can relate any?

I am a stay at home mom i have a 4yr old little girl,she wasnt planned. me and her dad are still together been together 5yrs now.we don't have the best relationship but we are still together. i been on the pill for 2yrs now and I am late..took a test it was positive but only my mom and a few friends know. i left my man a note saying i was late and for him to bring a test home (i dont have the one i took) and told him that i go to the health dept the 26th for a test cuz they want u to be 2wks late. Well he has been a ass ever since,comments,not talking to me much,we havent touched/had sex. we haven't talked about anything and he has not brought home a test. Does he really not want any more kids that badly? Did he think it would never happen,even on birth control? I mean we gotta move or build onto our place and thats all there is to it but its not the end of the world. Anyone been through something like this? stories,thoughts?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:41 PM on Oct. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Well it's pretty obvious that he doesn't want another baby. Many men see a baby when they don't want one as a trap. Not to say you got pregnant on purpose, accidents happen of course, but 2 kids ups the ante significantly. You can't walk away from 2 kids, you can't get a lot done with two kids, you know how it is. It takes two to tango, as they say,, so he needs to deal with the reality. On the other hand, if he always told you he only wanted 1 kid it is naive to think that he's going to be happy about this. I wouldn't and I'm a woman!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:48 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • My husband was a dick when we found out I was pregnant again. He wanted me to have an abortion, he URGED me to have one. We were in a sticky situation at the time but it was still no excuse for his behavior. He even took me to the abortion clinic because I thought I might, but I flat out told him before I could even fill out the paperwork that I was NOT having one, we're freakin married. Married couples just don't have abortions, IMO. I don't know why your man is being like that either but yes, I have been in a situation where I was treated like crap for being pregnant, as if I had used his sperm to purposely impregnate myself without his consent or something.

    I guess just talk with him and see if he's onboard. Tell him you want the baby, and let it be up to him if he wants to stick around or not. Let him know though either way the baby's not going away bc if he leaves he gets to pay child support.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 12:50 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • well any relationship isnt going to be so great when you have a kid within a year of being with someone. You know? it makes it hard because instead of taking the extra time to know one another and deal with living with one another you're planning for a kid instead.

    If you guys communicated at all Im sure he would have told you he wasnt trying to have another kid. if your keeping it which it sounds like you are I would sit down and have a mature adult convo about it. Guys get scared just like we do they just know they dont have the control at this point...you do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:59 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • well i know my boyfriend a short time when i got pregnant with my daughter. i know it sounds bad and i do regret it but i lied and said i was on b.c. when i wasnt and he believed me after knowing me almost 2wks he didnt use no condom. we have a 10yr age difference too. when i was preg. with my daughter he said i had trapped him and ruined his life but he got over it and stuck around. guess u could say we have tried to make the best of it. i know it takes 2. after this one i plan to get my tubes tied i do not want to be on b.c. my whole life and he isn't going to do anything. He should know i am not going to do anything but have this baby. he is so crazy about his daughter now u would never think things back then was so horrible. him being so crazy about her i dont think he will do anything like leave or anything. if i have to i will raise both them and he pay child support and i am pretty sure he dont want that even if he dont
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:00 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • con't. even if he dont like me sometimes. he is a good daddy but a awful boyfriend but i love him and i want my daughter to have her dad in her life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:02 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • My feeling is that if he didn't want more children, he should have used a condom or gotten sterilized. The pill fails sometimes and he is being a jerk. I think you should just talk to him and remind him that he played a part in this too and that he will be financially responsible no matter if he is there or leaves. Good luck to you. It's a bad situation to be in.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • I had a unplanned pregnancy too with my now husband. He always told that if I evergot pregnant again that I would have to have an abortion or he would leave. It's messed up. Men are such jerks.
    vampjaded

    Answer by vampjaded at 7:47 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

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