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When a child physically hurts you

My 14 yo step-daughter refused to go to school today, just flat-out refused. I called her dad and told him, because I didn't know what else to do. She started yelling at me and slapped me as hard as she could in my face, I have a pink mark on my face now.
My question is, should I tell Dh what she did to me or leave it alone? I don't want to seem like I am constantly tattling on her, because that is not what I am trying to do at all. Dh has also been stressed at work and I don't want to add more onto his plate.
On the other hand if I don't say anything, then she just gets away with it.
Ideas? Advice?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:58 PM on Oct. 21, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (20)
  • First off I don't care how old she is I would of put that girl over my knee.
    Second I would tell her father he doesnt need stuff hidden from him.
    Third I would tell my child if she ever touches me again that she will be arrested and will have to answer to the judge.
    Fourth I would have grabbed my child threw her in the car and taken her to school, where if she would of been she wouldnt have layed her fingers on you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • You need to tell her father. Its understandable that he has a lot on his plate and is stressed out, but here's the part where he is the father and needs to address issues with his family. I'm sorry that she hit you. You need to discuss this in private with your husband or things could get really out of hand. Good Luck. Sorry I don't have any great advice.

    Answer by hollymmm at 1:08 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • You do need to tell her father what she did to you.
    Secondly, a child of that age should know better than to slap you. Frankly, if my 15 year old step daughter did that to me I would probably call the police. You cannot go around hitting people in the real world, and it might be time for a harsh dose of reality.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • you need to tell her father. It is not okay under any circumstances for that child (or any other child) to put their hands on you.

    It sounds like the 3 of you need to sit down and have a long talk (but first tell your husband what happened).

    I recommend reading "How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk." It's a GREAT book.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:15 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • I would tell her father and her mother. Your the adult and she had no business doing that. I did that to my mom once when I was that age and she slapped me back. I never did it again. I would seriously take everything away from her I could think of. Maybe even laughter. She probably needs some counseling or something since she thinks that's ok to do. If you let her get away with it now, she'll think she can keep doing it.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 1:18 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • Her father should be told.

    This is teamwork, step child or not, so let him know and figure out a way to deal when/if it happens again.

    Also, I agree on the "over the knee" thing. She's not too old to be swatted and maybe humbled a wee bit.

    Or you could call the cops and let one of them come and chat with her about the repercussions of physical attacks like that.

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 1:21 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • I definitely would tell her father since it might escalate if she gets away with it. I don't have any advice other than that she needs serious consequences for physical violence - like several weeks of grounding, no tv, no phone, no going out, etc.
    My 8 year old slammed her door the other day and my dh took it off the hinges, I told her she could have it back when she earns it back. Sometimes it's best to nip these things in the bud.

    Answer by missanc at 1:22 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • Yes I would tell her dad. Completely unacceptable.

    Answer by lvpenguino at 1:30 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • Put your big girl panties on and deal with it as an adult, her mother and her disciplinarian. You are not there to be her friend or buddy and who really gives a shit if she doesn't like it or says she hates you. She definitely needs some tough love and you need to get some balls and do it.

    By the way I would be calling her father in a heartbeat! That's a total whinly cop-out to say "I don't want to seem" Bullshit. You do what you have to do and let her deal with the consequences of being a brat.

    Answer by tikigoddess at 1:38 PM on Oct. 21, 2009


    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 1:48 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

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