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Coping with heartbreak

I am keeping busy by hanging out with family and friends. My question is how do I accept it in my heart and let go of him emotionally? He wanted the break-up even though he said it was a very painful and sad decision. It was not an impromptu decision on his part because we both loved each other, but he truly thinks someone else would make me happier. He feels like I would have regrets if I married him. He can't have anymore children and feels like I would regret not having at least one more child. We don't talk anymore because it's too painful to be just friends and I can't imagine loving someone else that much again. It's very painful to even think of him loving someone else. I have been deeply in love twice and I truly believed deep down that he was the one. Please keep me in your prayers.

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:37 PM on Oct. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • If you love each other and the only problem is he can't have children what's the big deal? Artificial insemination. Get sperm from someone you know or a sperm bank. Perhaps he has a brother or his father or uncle would be willing to be a donor and then the baby would be a very close match.

    Answer by Gailll at 4:45 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • I should clarify that he can't have anymore and he isn't willing to have another baby (through in-vitro or adoption). He's done.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:49 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • I'm so sorry you are going through this, and I truly hope you can find the strength to go on. I felt like my ex was the one too, my soulmate. I felt that way from the first time I laid eyes on him, but he just didn't feel the same way. I thought I was going to emotionally die when we broke up, and there are still days that I cry. I've started to move on but it's still hard sometimes. I'm like you, I can't bear to talk to him or just be friends. I can't tell you exaclty what to do to get over him, because each situation is different, all I can tell you is sometimes you have to take things one day at at time, and sometimes it's one second at a time. You are stronger than you think though, try to keep yourself busy as much as you can, and if you feel like having a good cry, let it out, it will help. I wish you all the best, I know it won't be easy but it will get better!

    Answer by jillisue808 at 4:57 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • The break down of a relationship is a terrifically difficult time. Emotionally, physically and spirtually for some. My son is going through the same thing with his wife right now and it's killing me seeing him in so much pain. Knowing that, I know them breaking up is probably the best thing. They didn't have all the important discussions before they got finances, children, division of household chores, religion. They found out too late he had one view and she had another. He wants kids, like yesterday. She wants maybe one and not before she's 30.
    Sometimes loving someone is not enough to be able to live and thrive with them. Discussing and knowing your viewpoints on kids are very different is important. If you differ wisely it is likely to become a huge stumbling block later. I know you're hurting and I will keep you close in thought and prayer.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 4:59 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • HE feels like you would regret not having another child. Do YOU feel that way as well? If you don't, then why not tell him that? If you do feel that way, then as hard as it is, you have to accept that it's over. That acceptance takes time, it is a process, and a painful one at that. You are doing well by keeping busy, and other than that, you just have to be patient and realize that time is the only thing that will help. I am very sorry that you are going thru this, and I sincerely hope that you start feeling better soon.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 5:10 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

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