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From a Christian perspective...

Do you think it's bad to hang on to photos and/or letters from old boyfriends after you get married? Do you think hanging onto them is in some way being unfaithful to your husband?

I have a box in my basement with old pictures and stuff I need to go through and throw probably half of in the trash, I just haven't found the time to do it yet I guess. So I just got to thinking and was wondering what your feelings were on something like that.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:46 PM on Oct. 21, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • at my parents house, there is an envelope up my prom pictures, letters from a guy I dated in the service and a note book filled with{ I }heart {him}.

    I haven't thrown them out because they are at my parents house. like you said, I just didn't get around to it. I also would not throw them out now because they are distant memories that are not bad memories.

    Answer by Kattykitten at 4:55 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • you are going to hell for hanging onto those, bad christian!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:48 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • well God judges the heart. "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. " Matt 5:28
    "For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. " Matt 15:19

    Also no one is perfect and we can all be tempted, so my hsuband and I do not hang out with the opposite sex without eachother present (unless family of course). We trust eachother but we also know that we can be tempted as well (even if its just in our heart) or we can give people the wrong impression, so we stay away from that because we feel its the wisest thing to do, and our marriage is very important and we want to protect it.

    Answer by Precious333 at 4:52 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • My hubby and I both have memory boxes that contain old photos and letters from past bf/gfs. Now, both boxes currently reside in the shed. I think it would be inappropriate if those items were, say, sitting by the bedside. :-)
    As long as your husband doesn't have a problem with it, you shouldn't feel any shame unless you have unfaithful feelings towards that old bf. I personally believe that you can cheat without actually touching the other person.

    Answer by redmoonintexas at 4:52 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • you are going to hell for hanging onto those, bad christian!

    Get a hobby.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:53 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • "I also would not throw them out now because they are distant memories that are not bad memories."

    That's pretty much how I feel about the pictures, I'm just not sure how I feel about keeping the letters. I don't have any feelings for any of my ex boyfriends, I am very happy with my hubby so I don't feel guilty for having them or anything like that, just not sure.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:00 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • Personally, my husband & I got rid of letters & pictures of exes when we got married. I don't think there is any point in holding onto memories of ex boyfriends or ex girlfriends. If you really think about it, what benefit is there? It doesn't benefit you anymore or your marriage and has nothing to do with the life you are living now, so why keep it?

    Answer by kayladbrooks at 5:55 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • I just kept the letters. I guess if my husband ever said he doesn't like it I would toss them. They are there with the rest of my HS stuff I never thought about it.

    I guess this is a call you have to make. want em or not? I am not sure I care either way lol so I am no help :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:36 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • you are going to hell for hanging onto those, bad christian!

    raises her eyebrows

    You know its something you need to decide OP. Sometimes holding on to things can be not so good thing. It really is up to you and God but I would be more concerned about soul ties and that being the reason you kept those things. The soul ties need to be broken between you and all your exes. Just a thought :-)

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 6:52 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • I suppose it depends on why you are hanging on to those items. Are you like me and hang on to anything and everything? Do the items mean anything to you other than because you are sentimental? I actually held onto some old love letters my STBDH wrote to me way back in highschool throughout my marriage to my LH. They just happened to be in a box sealed up along with bags and bags of notes from my female friends. I also had a couple of other mementos from other boyfriends. I wasn't hanging onto those things because I harbored any lust from the past, they just happened to be tokens of that part of my life. Having said that if my LH had found the old love letters he probably would've been jealous that I hadn't sought them out and destroyed them. I know I would've been upset if I'd found something along the same lines in his closet. Inspite of all of that and given my current circumstances I do not regret that I held onto these....

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 8:35 PM on Oct. 21, 2009