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Do other people understand your child?

I don't mean with words. My son is in HeadStart (he's going to be 3 in January) He is violent with other children at times, runs around when he's happy, and very animated. He can be disagreeable (like any toddler) He bit another child at school, and the parent asked me if he has "problems". I've also had other parents ask me if I discipline him, etc. He's an only child and has been in headstart since he was 18 months. He's an only child, and doesn't really have "friends" outside of HeadStart. He hits at home occasionally, but only when he's REALLY aggravated. He doesn't have ADHD or any problems that I know of, and he speaks VERY well. So, my question(s) is- Do people not understand your child as a person, and how do you deal with it? Does anyone else have a child that is the "bully"?

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Annabel1809Lee

Asked by Annabel1809Lee at 5:21 PM on Oct. 21, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 17 (3,872 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • Just a couple of words popped out at me that suggest that your child may have a 'problem'.
    He is violent with other children at times
    He bit another child at school
    He hits at home occasionally ( he is almost 3 which means that he should know better by now)
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 5:23 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • Yep.
    That sounds lot like my older son. He has lots of good words but he has a lot of behavioral issues. ...my plan is to get him evaluated for SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder). He will be 5 next month.

    I deal with it by simply telling others that he has behavioral issues. ...
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 5:25 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • I agree with Jademom

    Your son does have something going on.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 5:26 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • Well, he's in a mixed age room from walking age, to 3 years old. He stopped biting, until they got a young biter in the room, and he started doing it again.
    Annabel1809Lee

    Answer by Annabel1809Lee at 5:26 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • i dont care what other people think about my child,he is far from perfect and noone in the whole universe has kids that are so great they can point at others kids.teach him how to act and he will,but dont ever worry about what others think about him,he is a child and its ok to act silly sometimes,but not always.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:27 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • My daughter, 3, is too in Head Start. My advice would be to ask the teachers or family advocate they are around all sorts of children and should be able to tell you if they think you should have him looked into for any problems by a doctor! Good Luck with every thing! I know you only want the best for your child but sometimes you need to do what you really do not want to but would be best for your child!
    jem102675

    Answer by jem102675 at 5:30 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • It's not a matter of them understanding your child. They see him being violent toward other children, biting other children, and they are concerned. Rightfully so. Maybe you know your child doesn't intend to hurt, maybe you know he's a wonderful, loving child, but you can't expect others to just assume that. If I saw another child acting that way toward my child, I would be concerned and say something. And I would fully expect the same from another parent if my child was behaving that way. You say he doesn't have any problems "that you know of", have you spoken to a dr to see if there is something causing this behavior? I can't think of any medical conditions right off the top of my head that could cause this, but I'm sure there are some. ADHD does not necessarily cause this, my sons both have it and have never behaved this way. I'd consider seeing a dr and maybe a therapist for behavior modification. Just some thoughts.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 5:30 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • I don't agree with the above post at all. My dd is kinda the bully and has done and is doing most of the things your child does. Kids are kids! To say that a child should NEVER hit at home or anywhere else? Are you kidding me? At 3? Yeah right. I would like to go to her house and see just how angelic her kids obviously are. That answer just blows me away.

    To your question, I think that people who aren't around your child often wouldn't and don't know your kid as a little human. Maybe tell the parent who asked if your child has problems to not worry about your child and accept your apology.
    jenree33

    Answer by jenree33 at 5:30 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • Sorry now she is the first not the above post!
    jenree33

    Answer by jenree33 at 5:31 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • I worry that people misjudge my dd all the time, so I know where you are coming from.

    I want them to know she is sweet and smart and funny and kind....not just autism....she has trouble sitting still and not responding to conversation directed towards her...so she comes across the wrong way sometimes.

    I have just learned to deal with it....I just realize that to me, she is special and wonderful...too bad they miss out on the good parts.....lucky me!!!! ;) ;)
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 6:21 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

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