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Breaking the circle at a Catholic Church

We have recently moved and changed churches. This is the third church we have become members of since getting married. The first one we were welcomed with open arms, the 2nd one we were like strangers for 3 of the 4 years were members . Now, this one seems to have the same vibe. It seems as if the church has it veteran groups of volunteers and aren't to open to newbies.

I enjoy being Catholic, and a group of snobs is not going to push me from my faith.

Do any other Catholics see this in your church? Or did I just get two bad examples in a row? What about other churches, have you had a hard time fitting in to the group?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:12 PM on Oct. 21, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (7)
  • Most of the people who go to my church are older, and they have all been very welcoming. We've been going there for just over a year. People do practically have assigned seats during Mass, we all just sit in the same spot, I'm not really sure why, and there are some little groups here and there who seem to only talk to each other. For the most part though we've felt welcome and comfortable there from the start. I think you probably just got two bad examples in a row.


    Answer by whittear at 6:20 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • I've experienced both bad and good. Our current parish is great. Very welcoming of new blood in the different ministries, bibles studies, etc. However, yes, sadly, our last parish was not as welcoming. On the surface it was. Very friendly smiling faces, very polite, etc. But when I tried to become active in the women's group, they seemed to have a certain clique that was running everything, and didn't take others' suggestions. BUT, I really loved the sister who ran the Christian Formation program, and learned so much from her, and I did meet one really good friend there before we moved away, and we have stayed in touch. So that has been nice. So hang in there, I pray that you will find some positive things about the parish before too long . . .

    Answer by LibbyLife at 6:40 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • For some reason, I have found that the smaller churches are more friendly and more inclusive.

    Answer by ave.maria. at 8:49 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • "For some reason, I have found that the smaller churches are more friendly and more inclusive."

    Our Church is on the smaller size, so you might be right about that.

    Answer by whittear at 10:45 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • I've been to a few different ones, and big or small, I've noticed that the attitude of the priest is usually what guides the parish. When a priest is snobbish, everyone else follows like sheep. Luckily I've only been to 2 parishes where that was the case. I like mine now,but we moved kinda far from it, so I havent been there in a while.

    Answer by mumma28 at 11:44 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • I was a member of a very large church in Washington DC. I found that it was made up of a bunch of smaller communities - some more friendly that others. I was able to find a niche there where I felt welcome and I fit in. The church I attend now is assoicated with a parish school I attend, so most of the people I know at church are from the school. There is a snobby group - but most are good and welcoming.

    Answer by eringobrough at 12:12 AM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • It's hard to infiltrate circles like that. In larger churches you can easily enter and start talking to people. Smaller community churches not so much. I had to do participant observation for a psychology class at the church by my house. I haven't stepped foot in it since a funeral. I was dressed like everyone else but they just knew I didn't belong there.

    Answer by OneToughMami at 3:56 AM on Oct. 22, 2009

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