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How Do You Quiet A Toddler Tantrum?

I have a 3 year old daughter & a 3 month old son. My daughter has been throwing massive tantrums since she was 2 1/2 (before baby's arrival, so we know jealousy issues aren't to blame.) My husband & I have tried seemingly everything to correct her behavior/punish her. Nothing works. It's lovely, too, because she 'saves' these tantrums for me. When it's just her and her Dad, she doesn't dare act that way. She usually kicks the floor, walls and doors. She hits/punches herself. She screams at the top of her lungs. I've threatened to take away possessions and privileges. I've put her in 'time-out' (which only escalates the tantrum.) I've tried ignoring her (which is what I'm currently doing, as she's been kicking her door for the last 2 hours.) I've actually tried to have a preemptive approach and talk her down before she freaks out. But she throws fits at every opportunity, so that's hard to do every time. SUGGESTIONS, please!

 
MommyDumDum

Asked by MommyDumDum at 8:03 PM on Oct. 21, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (5)
  • Please don't spank, it won't help, it will just make her even madder. She's throwing the tantrums for attention, the best way to get her to quit is to ignore the tantrums, if you have to, put her in her room. When she's behaving well, or just sitting quietly give her lots of attention, hugs and kisses. When your trying to "deal" with the tantrum, even if it is punishing, its giving her what she wants and reinforcing the behavior.
    mom2emily

    Answer by mom2emily at 11:26 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • I will tell you what I use to do. But you probably will not like it. Every time My DD's Would threw a fit. I would tell them I will give you a reason to cry. i would proceed to give them a spanking.
    They only threw a fit a couple of times. Never did it again. Bash away. But it worked
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:24 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • No bashing here! I was thinking she needed a good spanking too.
    If she is kicking the door for 2 hours, you have quite a strong-willed child on your hands! She is trying to wear you down, don't let her.......As stuborn as she is, she may fight back stronger after a spanking. It might take you a few more times than the "average" kid to stop her behavior.
    Stay strong, Momma. And remeber that YOU are the one in charge, not her.
    christyg

    Answer by christyg at 8:52 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • Spanking a kid for throwing a tantrum teaches them NOTHING!! when she is throwing a tantrum just walk away and ignore her. It's the best thing you can do.
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 11:45 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • This is what I'm referring to ladies...so many options! I wish there was one concrete answer. But parenting isn't that easy, huh? Anyway, both my husband & I were raised in families that spanked. I've spanked my daughter a few times. but it does only seem to escalate the situation. It does not shut her up. Her father has spanked her as well...same results. I have a feeling that she only throws the tantrums so that she can get the attention afterward (she knows that if she self-injures, we'll comfort her.) So I am trying my best to ignore her. I think that if I stay consistent, it should work. Thank you for your insight!!
    MommyDumDum

    Answer by MommyDumDum at 11:53 PM on Oct. 21, 2009