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a stepmoms worry

my stepson is 5 months old. His mother will only allow us to have him while she is at work; even though the he pays child support as 50/50 custody. everytime she brings him to us he is hungry. he can go thru an 8oz bottle in the first half hour we have him. we are always having to cut his nail because they are long and dirty and sometimes he comes over with dirt in the creases of his neck. A couple time he has even been in the same complete outfit he was in the previous day. she wont let him stay the night because "the doctor says so". He can over to our house yesterday with a bruise on his back. What should we do? i dont want to overstep my bounderies... any advice?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:19 PM on Oct. 21, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (6)
  • Wow that is terrible, I think you need to take a picture of the bruise ASAP! Just curious, 5 months old and he is your stepson?? I don't need the details just alot of marriage an birth pretty fast-LOL, You are going to have to document everything, and have your DH talk to the baby's doctor, I doubt he says the baby can't spend the night! Do you have court ordered visitation? She must obey the rules, if not you might be in a better position to get full custody, take the baby to a new doctor to document the bruise, and dirt, they will be obligated to file a report--this gets you off the hook, good luck and thanks for watching out for this baby!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:27 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • that is BAD...i would call CPS
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:27 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • You have to document everything--- pictures, writing things down, and the like. If your stepson is in a really bad situation, taking custody would be the best thing you can do for him. Either way, any time your infront of a judge/friend of the court type situation, documentation is your best friend.
    IrishMommaC

    Answer by IrishMommaC at 11:07 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • Like one of the previous posters have said, take him to a different doctor, they have to report it if they think it is child abuse. You can call as well, someone will do an investigation pretty fast. Sounds like he needs to be out of moms care and into you and your husbands care.
    vickwu

    Answer by vickwu at 11:29 PM on Oct. 21, 2009

  • Do document everything- but also keep in mind that 5 months old babies drink A LOT of formula. I would not take his being hungry as an alarm... the other things you mentioned, however... not good. Don't worry about overstepping your boundries. If you are worried about this baby, speak up before anything awful happens.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 AM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • The bruise would concern me the most. As for the other things have you asked her if there is anything you can do to help her out? Is she too busy to care for the child. Meaning is she maybe in a post partum depression state? Offer to help her, offer to watch the child over night. OR maybe you could (for the child's sake) offer to allow her to spend the night. If you aren't working, maybe you could tell her, not to be mean, but it seems like you could use a good nights rest. Would you like to spend the night? I could help you with the baby in the middle of the night? See if that get's you somewhere with her. Documenting things is a must. The dirt in the crease of the neck, is that something she could have overlooked? The clothes, offer to do the baby's(only baby's) laundry if she wants to bring it along when she brings the baby over for the day.?? Hope you figure this out soon. Good Luck. Take care of the little one.
    babygoose78

    Answer by babygoose78 at 1:07 AM on Oct. 22, 2009

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