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Have you ever loved somebody so much.....but for some reason you just don't think it's "meant to be" or could ever work?

and if so...how did you handle the situation?? and what exactly was your situation? (minimal details are completely okay...) Just looking for some insight...support...help...anything, really.

I absolutely love my husband (so much it hurts to even be thinking this...let alone asking this question)....but it seems like most of the time we're fighting (we're both under a lot of stress)..and I'm second guessing our marriage, the constant fighting is just too much for me. I don't know if I can live like this for the rest of my life....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:40 AM on Oct. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • so what do you fight about? sex? money? kids? everyday life? you need to learn how to discuss things, not point fingers, and work together for common goals. ever try counseling? sometimes things aren't that big a deal, but we choose to make them a big deal. pick and choose real battles. stay away from petty things. speak softly and carry a big stick ( idk what that means, but my daddy always says that.)
    i was madly in love at first sight for 4-5 years with an ex-bf. everyday something told me to walk away..without details, once i'd had enough of not receiving what i knew i needed from him, i did walk. it was so hard!! and three months later, i met my dh(for 5 years now)..still a man (which means, of course, he's not perfect), but he is all that my ex was not. and every one of those needs i wasn't getting from ex, dh supplies tenfold. that's my story.
    thehairnazi

    Answer by thehairnazi at 12:53 AM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • Hugs!

    I believe that love always wins in the end. So if you love him and he loves you, then the idea that it can't work, can't exist.

    To me it goes beyond knowing that true love conquers all, but in accepting that love is always enough. Because if you believe it Love isn't enough, then what on Earth would be enough?

    My DH and I went through some rough times too, but honestly I just knew the whole time that we had been brought together for a reason. If you want, you can send me a pm but I can't answer it tonight, but my whole story is on the Seperated Group, (I own the group and yes its misspelled) and it gets lengthy! I believe its under a heading at the very top of the group page and is called My Intro. I always felt like even if we did divorce, we'd be married again within a year. Luckily it didn't come to that.

    Hope you can follow that, its kind of late and its been a long day!
    Lesli

    Answer by Lesli at 1:00 AM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • You can choose whether or not to fight. Pick your battles? I have a rough marriage too, so I am not picking on you. But time can sometimes make thing easier. When you learn how to really talk to each other for the best results, and have the strength to walk away from arguments. It is extremely hard, I know it!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 AM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • life can get the best of you sometimes....hang in there!

    marriage is no easy path. but putting in effort and investing time and energy into your marriage is CRUCIAL.

    my husband and I have been through some pretty rough times....and only in our 5yrs. working through those times makes you stronger and builds on your relationship.

    talking is the best cure. keep communication OPEN.
    carliemarie1015

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 1:42 AM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • My hubby and I can't seem to stop fighting sometimes, too. I know we are meant to be.
    We have started writing down how we feel and passing notes, keeping them constructive. Try it, you may be surprised!
    We also started writing little love notes as well, to let the other know they are appreciated.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:53 AM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • i know what you're going thru:( and it hurts. but in my heart. i knowhes the one. i always knew that form the time we met he was the one.my husband, the father of my children, my lifemate. we fight like no other and some of thethings that get said are extremley hurtful to the point ofme crying myself to sleep or in the shower. but the next morning hes loving on me and saying sorry. i cant picture mylife without him. ive been with him since i was 15. hes mine.forever.i have met other guys and i know that if we ever did divorce..i would be miserable because i'd spend every minute with the new guy comparing him to my husband. no one measures up to the amount of love i havefor him. sure times get rough,but times would be even rougher if we werent in it together. if you and your husband still love each other deeply then you will be fine.but sometimes i find myself thinking "maybe hes better a memory than my man":(
    naturepeace

    Answer by naturepeace at 3:11 AM on Oct. 22, 2009

  • Who generally starts these fights. And what specifically because of these fights has you second guessing whether you are right for each other. Both of you seem to be dancing around what is really causing the constant tension between you. Stressful times are when two people should be focusing on resolving and aligning issue and rethinking just how to better manage everything within there unit. Each time a fight starts, find a way to be silent to hear what you are both arguing about. You will probably see that it's not important or that you can handle these conflict much differently. Use another approach at these times and most likely he will see things differently as well. Work to mend not affend. Decide just how really important your union is verses all of this fighting.
    peacockmom

    Answer by peacockmom at 1:22 PM on Oct. 23, 2009

  • wow this sounds like my situation, i will try to make this short lol
    me and my hubby have been together for about 3 years all throughout our relationship we have had rough parts, our biggest thing is that he constantly texts other woman and says sexual things to them and they basically have text sex, he has done this a total of 11 times that i have caught him and took him back every time well about a year ago he didnt do it until 2 months ago ever since then i have not been able to get over it, usually well in the past i was over it pretty fast, his whole excuse is "well it wasnt physically cheating", but this last time i keep replaying it in my head, anyways my point is i love my husband to death i dont want anyone else but since he cheated again i feel like we can never get better, like no matter what i do i will never get over it which makes me not want to try anymore
    xxSummaxx13

    Answer by xxSummaxx13 at 5:23 PM on Jan. 6, 2010

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